A Big Bang moment; the moment when everything in your life falls apart and you feel like giving up. You’re at the bottom and there’s no where else to go but up. Then you’re going to literally drag your body up and say fuck this it’s time to cheer up and move the fuck on, welcome to the Big Bang.
Throughout the years people who have read my blogs have seen me have my highs and lows, but I went through a very dark time over two years ago. My life had lost it’s flow and nothing was going according to plan, not the way I had planned it.
I had this attitude that there were things I couldn’t do and there were things I could do, and I wasn’t prepared or willing to learn the things I didn’t know. I was holding on so tightly to my past and hoping things would get better until one day I realized what i was holding on to want even real, it didn’t even exist. I flew to Miami for my birthday and came back a totally different person. I came back relieved, now I could start over.
People’s opinion of me never really mattered but now more than ever it’s almost like I don’t even hear their opinions anymore, and not hearing is way better than not caring. I am truly happy and it is not the result of anybody’s action but my own, if everybody that is in my life walked out tomorrow it wouldn’t make me sad is might be a little disappointed but I would carry on like it never happened.
I wake up happier each day than the day before, I am so motivated to try new things and be a new person. A year ago I knew nothing about cooking and had never been interested. I considered cooking to be something that society expected women to do, I had no interest in societies expectations. But today I am cooking, I am baking macaroni and cheese pies, lasagna, healthy fish dishes, you name it and I can do it.
I worked in media for years as a television host not learning anything but the basics of what my job entailed, being in a new environment with a much better attitude and some time on my hands, I have learned to edit not only in Adobe premier but also in final cut 7 and final cut X. I invested in a good camera and a lighting system that I can fully set up in my own house and use. I can do anything with google and YouTube there isn’t really anything that I can’t do myself. Two weeks ago I built my own website and all these tasks were things I had to pay others to do for me in the past, today I put them on my list of things to do.
I literally went from being very depressed and terrified of what the future held, to happy, inspired, and driven to create my own destiny. My Big Bang moment
Have a great week everyone, and always remember time heals all wounds I have lived it so I know. :)