Am I apart of the Oversharing generation?

I think each generation has their own little thing, that thing that makes them unique to that period in time and I’m apart of the generation that is documenting life. A couple of years from now when we’re all dead and long gone the people of the future will have an amazing time learning about history they will feel like they’re there.

The thought came to me yesterday evening as I edited a Vlog for my YouTube Channel, I thought people might look at me as one of those people who share my whole life with the internet. I have a fashion Blog, I have my WordPress, Instagram, twitter and my YouTube Channel each one has a different element of my personality. People who read my blogs here and follow me on twitter  would not recognize me on YouTube or my fashion blog and Instagram is just a whole different place, but I don’t think I over share.

My personal life is authentically mine and there are certain things I do not share with Internet audiences I try to keep my information very, very general yes I will show you a lipstick I just bought in Sephora and tell you the cost, but I will not post personal information about my relationship online I keep my relationships personal, my home is also personal, my family is also personal and I’m super careful with that. I’ve had a lot of practice with social media I know exactly how to share.

I think twice before I share and I ask myself, why is this any of their business? Mind you I want to share with my followers that’s the aim, but I don’t want to give away more information than is needed lets just put it this way if you asked what kind of pens I like to write with I would tell you the type of pen and I wouldn’t explain why, I try to only answer the question.

So yes I am guilty for sharing, but I don’t over share have a great week everyone.

xoxox Lauren O Lauren

African American/ Black are they the same or are they different

Photo courtesy of - BlackYouthProject.com

Bare with me for a little as I write this blog post confused, I’m from the Caribbean specifically Jamaica where people are black, white, Chinese, Japanese, Spanish and so on and so on, there are no Jamaican black and African Jamaican blacks, just Black. Whenever I have to fill out a form in the US and it asks me to state my race, I’m tempted to tick other but I always disclose my race because even though America has a problem with race I don’t.  But I do have a question why is Black and African-American in the same box are they the same? Why not just write Black and keep it simple? I’m NOT African-American but I am black, though I don’t have a problem with the two descriptions I’m trying to figure out why there are two.

You’re probably wondering what I’m going on about now, I’m just confused. If Black and African-American are the same thing, then exactly what Am I because I’m black but I’m not African-American because I was not born in America and neither were my parents, so therefore they must be two different things, but why on Gods earth are they in the same line and why are they different??? Why not separate the two put Black in its own box and African American in another box wouldn’t that make life simpler because it would make mine much simpler

Also just a little observation I have lots of friends who are Africans who live in the US but they are not black, they are white. So they would be considered African-American but they are not Black. So if that unified box was created based on the color of people’s skin then where would people who are white but are from Africa fall? It’s all so confusing and it’s confusing because somebody decided it was important that race be a factor for whatever reasons be it practical or not.

Lastly what is America’s obsession with race, this country tells everyone that they are a country of equal rights and justice and that racism is dead, they pretend like black people are making a commotion over nothing. Yet every employment form asks you politely what race do you belong to. I wonder what would happen if I just ticked white one of these days, would they tell me I ticked the wrong box, would they pretend like they didn’t see it, or would they be angry at my blatant disrespect for a very important question.

Comment down below tell me what you make of this.

Xoxo Lauren O Lauren

Getting your Heart Broken before you find Success is GOOD THING!!

broken heart

So this came to me the other day when I was coming home from a long day of Christmas shopping, I had a sort of “AHA Moment”  I think about how grounded I am and focused now to the point where my work and my projects always, Always come first.  Even though at the moment I’m in a comfortable relationship its never really the focus of my life and I do not put it on the forefront, if anything it’s kind of like having the TV on while you do chores if that makes any sense.

Because I had gotten my heart broken earlier on, I strongly believe that I am now at a place where I am more responsible because of it.  I’m growing and learning everyday and still pursuing my success but I am on the right road.  Finding success first and then falling madly in love can have it’s cons, you allow yourself to get lost in it, caught up in the perfection of having success and love and then when you lose it and your heart is savagely broken, your work suffers. You will end up unfocused, broke, and homeless you can’t give relationships these days the benefit of the doubt you need to have your plan B and your “What If”, because you wouldn’t get on a ship that doesn’t have life rafts, would you?

When you’ve already gotten your heart broken and you’re in a comfortable relationship that looks and feels pretty solid you know that going to New York for two weeks to cover an event is more important than staying home so you can spend your boyfriend’s birthday with him, yes honey you better get that money before its too late.  So no I don’t think heart breaks are so bad they can be good, they give your perspective and allow you to align yourself properly, so pray that heart ache finds you before success does.

have an amazing week everyone

xoxox Lauren O Lauren

Lebron James Stands for Social Issues.

635537066380858699-USATSI-8259313Ok quick thought well lets hope this will be quick.  A couple of days ago Lebron James wore a black T-shirt with the words “I Can’t Breath” written on it in bold letters while he was practicing before a game, at that game the Royal family Kate and William as well as Jay Z and Beyonce from Rap royalty was also there.  When I watched the news coverage of the situation I kind of got a little annoyed at the coverage of the situation, here’s why.

The news reporters made it seem as if Lebron was doing something he did not have to do and that he was merely doing his fans a favor, and how involved he was in social issues they called him outspoken. The reporter also went on to say she wondered if these stands he was making would affect his Endorsement deals, one of the reporters even went as far as saying she spoke to one of the heads of the company with whom Lebron had an endorsement, asking him: “Does Lebron ask you if he can do these things” and the guy reportedly responded by saying “No he doesn’t and we love that about him, because he’s doing it from his heart and that’s what we love about him we don’t want to censor him”.

There we go again with white people making light of racial issues because they probably think we should get over it, We don’t censor him we love that about him the guy says, lets ignore whats really going on here and make this whole situation about a shoe company.  Making light of the situation because it brings in the right kind of media coverage on their brand ambassador extending that coverage to their brand. I wanted to push my hands through the television and slap all the reporters, Lebron was not simply doing his fans or the family a favor, he was standing up for Black Issues, in a country where he was believe it or not also a BLACK MAN!!!!!  Though Lebron might now be considered a “Privileged Black Man” what none of these reporters were noticing is that the issue of race in America is a lot more serious than they make it out to be.

We are all witnessing a change in Black and White relations in America, some of us will stand by and watch and some of us will do our part and be apart of this change but one thing all of us will do is this, we will all benefit or suffer from the outcome of this entire situation.  I am not saying lebron does not care about these issues I am sure he does, what I’m saying is lets not ignore the white elephant in the room. Do not allow these news stations to distract you from the real issue at hand.

xoxo Lauren

Go after what you want, not what others have.

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Hello I have been slacking and have been completely ignoring my word press, so allow me to apologize and jump right in with this one.

First lets start with some good news I got my US drivers License today so proud of myself all in one go, so can we all just agree God is good all the time.

Here’s the situation life has become one big competition, if you’ve got a sad story it must be the saddest sad story of all time, if you’re happy you must be happier than everyone else in the room, if you’re motivated you have to be more motivated than everyone else and you must have the memes to back it up. I have written so many blogs on this topic, don’t tell yourself you need something because Terry’s Facebook status just said she got the new iPhone 6 for her birthday because Terry will not tell you that her man who gave it to her also gave one to his other four women and she only sees him once a week for four hours and he comes at night and leaves before dawn, and why would she? That’s not what sharing in the 21st century is all about.

If you allow yourself to get caught up in all of this “competing” you will be very unhappy even when you’ve gotten what you thought it was you wanted.  Know yourself, sit down and reason with yourself ask yourself what exactly do I want from this life and how am I going to get it?  If progression and change is not apart of what you want then you are not being true to yourself. Apart of being human is wanting to see ourselves grow, progress in our own lives and become a better version of who we are even if that means letting go of things that once defined us.

So I will say this again, go at your own pace and don’t let the view from somebody else’s yard trick you sometimes is only the grass-green. Accept where you are in life truly accept it, and build from there. You need to know where you are so you can know where you’re going.

xoxox Lauren O Lauren

Over Thinking and Over Analyzing, My Anxiety!!

Everybody has that one friend that is super dramatic, if you were ever 25 minutes late for a meeting with me you are not late YOU ARE DEAD!! LoL I always think the worst, I assume the worst and most times I think everyone is out to get me. That friend is me, lol

It has a lot to do with my anxiety, its had its positive effects and it’s had its negative effects, because I always think the worst and think everything will fail I always have a plan B and plan for the worst. I never expect anything from anyone or any situation and I end up getting more than I bargained for when things work out. The point I’m trying to make is the reason why a lot of us don’t do certain things, or never move forward in life is because we over think and over analyze situations to the point where we underestimate ourselves and our potential, I’m guilty of it too.

DONT-overthink-quote-pics-life-sayings-quotes-pictures   Most situations should not be left lingering on our minds for days, even weeks, heck years after.  Maybe you had a bad day that’s fine lets start over tomorrow. If you need to get professional help to better deal with a situation I strongly suggest doing it, do whatever you can to let go of self destructive behaviors. The world is against ME I’ll yell, I’m dying I’ll moan when all I have is seasonal allergies.

We make millions of decisions everyday in this journey called life knowing what to focus our energies on is a task within itself we really can’t afford to waste time.  I read an article once about “Satisficers and Maximizers” Satisficers are people who know what they want and when they find it they are happy with it and move on to something else in life. For example if they need a tomato sauce with basil in it, once they find it they are done looking for it. Maximizers are persons who have to review all their options even after they have found what they want, because really they don’t know what they want. They will look at every can of tomato sauce making sure they are getting the best price, with the least calorie intake etc, etc. Needless to say Satisficers are happier than Maximizers, which category do you fall under?

Lets both promise that we will let go the heavy burden of worry that we walk around with, promise that we will no longer stress over the things we cannot change and the people we cannot change. Lets just focus on getting through today, so we can make it through this week.

Have a great week everyone.

I will protect my happiness at all costs.

Happiness-map

People might call me petty, I assure you it’s not the first and maybe I am petty. When it comes to the happiness that I have worked hard to achieve anybody threatening my peace of mind will be executed from my life-like a traitor from the Kingdom of Caesar.

Here is where I am in my life  I’m moving forward and I’m avoiding situations and people who I feel are stagnant and poisonous. The things that used to make me sad I have forgotten it and move on. Ex’s try to connect with me hoping to bury the pass and move forward being friends, harmless right? I don’t care I’m not having it you tried to drown me once, I won’t allow you to come swimming with me so you can’t try again. If I couldn’t trust you when we were together, why should I trust you as a friend? Person’s that i no longer speak to for whatever reasons, I don’t check up on them I left them in the past. If you think someone from your past is scrolling your timeline and seeing how good your life is now, I assure that person is not me.

I have mercilessly cut off people who try to unconsciously ruin my happiness with information about things they KNOW will make me unhappy. I don’t care what this person is saying about me, you do not need to tell me especially if I don’t know the person. I do not need to know who my ex is sleeping with.  I’m not one of those women who check up on their ex’s through social media scavenger hunts, I might still be heart-broken but I’m not desperate,  and if you volunteer such information to me, I will CUT YOU OFF and not think twice. If you are good friends with people who have gone out of their way to destroy me, then know this right now YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND.

Of course I’m being petty, but how can you be my friend and the friend of my enemy at the same time? Isn’t that what someone would call a conflict of interest? Anything that destroys my happiness and peace of mind, anything that threatens the peace I have found, any situation that does not serve me I AM WALKING AWAY FROM IT. So not only am I being petty but I have chosen to be selfish,  I have lived a thousand years being selfless a change is gonna come.

My advise to anyone is carefully analyze your surroundings and the people in it, some people you can let go, your peace of mind is worth more than anything.

Find your own Pace & work with it

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They tell you that nothing comes to you, you have to go out there and make it happen for yourself and you have to be able to take advantage of a good opportunity when it comes your way. All of this is good advise yet why do so many of us make mistakes that we can’t recover from? Take risks they tell us, yet sometimes when you take a risk it ends up in tragedy. Not all tragedies are created equal and some do ruin us.

The reason for this is because many of us don’t know our pace, and we determine how to do things for ourselves based on other peoples results, and as we would say in Jamaica “Puss and Dog don’t have the same luck”. It is important that you find your own pace, find what works for you and don’t be in a hurry to have something that isn’t yours, or wasn’t meant for you.  I’m a planner and very deep thinker lol, no really I am. I plan everything I do and think on it deeply do my research and prepare myself for whatever I’m getting myself into, I never blindly step into anything. If the situation is big and I know there will be serious consequences I write it down in my trusty journal and I list the pros and the cons and if the Pros don’t outweigh the Cons by a LOT, then honey I’m not doing it.

Too many people are not honest with themselves and you need to be.  Admit to yourself when you’ve done something stupid and don’t allow yourself to be misguided by others. Find your pace and stick to it, don’t force a situation and don’t watch what other people are doing. Abraham Lincoln said “I go SLOWLY but never backward”. That has become one of my personal mantas in life, I take my time and learn what I need to learn and I go slowly, so if and when I make a mistake which is rare it doesn’t all come crumbling down on me. When you’re driving a car very slowly if you get into an accident you will probably hurt yourself but not die.

Enjoy the rest of your week love bunnies and remember, don’t pay attention to what others are doing and throw off your own pace.

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

Why Am I Glowing and Smiling all the time

My life isn’t perfect there are things I wish I could change but I can’t, I have learnt to roll with the punches instead of trying to miss them, now I pick myself up and dust it off and keep going because that is what life is about. 

I’ve been having more good days because I have stopped stressing about the bad ones. I made a promise to myself last year that I was going to make a change in my life, I was ready to do the things necessary that was going to bring about change in my life and if I fail at least I can sleep at night knowing that I tried. 

You’ve probably never heard of this term it’s called “Flow” and I’ve heard it before but I couldn’t relate, But now I think I know what it means because I know I have it. Flow is when everything in your life is working together  it’s almost like the universe is your personal secretary. Things happen one after the other and opportunities present themselves at every angle. 

This weekend was like a dream, on Thursday my mother in law brought me to Charity group dinner I love charity work and it was right up my alley, animals and children. On Friday I went to a jazz festival down town we laid on the grass and allowed the soothing sounds to wash over us, on Saturday I went to my first baseball game and on Sunday I did my first family photo shoot and I was the photographer.

For the first time in years I feel like I’m in control of my fate and I only do what makes me happy. So yes I’m smiling a lot and I’m glowing, Im not pregnant like a lot of my Instagram followers assume I’m just very happy. 

 

The best part about it is, I don’t need anyone but Myself to make myself I’ve become my own personal super hero a feeling I wouldn’t change for all the riches in the world.

 

xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

 

Have a fabulous weekend Dolls

From The mouth of Bill Cosby

Beverly Hills Hotel 100th Anniversary Weekend - Bill Cosby Hosts Evening Of Comedy And Jazz
Just as I posted a blog on this whole racism situation, today I spent the whole day tweeting about my feelings as it relates to black people and racism. About five minutes a go a good friend of mine tagged me in this post, its supposedly an old speech something he said or wrote earlier this year. I wanted to share with you, not my words but the words of Bill Cosby………….

They’re standing on the corner and they can’t speak English.
I can’t even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain’t,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be…
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it’s important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can’t be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.

People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we’ve got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.
$500 sneakers for what?
And they won’t spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2?
Where were you when he was 12?
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn’t know that he had a pistol?
And where is the father? Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn’t that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn’t that a sign of something?

Isn’t it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from??
We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don’t know a thing about Africa …..

I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.
I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don’t have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! !
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ……… And all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person’s problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different ‘husbands’ — or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can’t write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard..
We cannot blame the white people any longer.’

~Dr.. William Henry ‘Bill’ Cosby, Jr., Ed..D