My Big Bang Moment, My will to be happy regardless.

IMG_1941 A Big Bang moment; the moment when everything in your life falls apart and you feel like giving up. You’re at the bottom and there’s no where else to go but up. Then you’re going to literally drag your body up and say fuck this it’s time to cheer up and move the fuck on, welcome to the Big Bang.

Throughout the years people who have read my blogs have seen me have my highs and lows, but I went through a very dark time over two years ago. My life had lost it’s flow and nothing was going according to plan, not the way I had planned it.
I had this attitude that there were things I couldn’t do and there were things I could do, and I wasn’t prepared or willing to learn the things I didn’t know. I was holding on so tightly to my past and hoping things would get better until one day I realized what i was holding on to want even real, it didn’t even exist. I flew to Miami for my birthday and came back a totally different person. I came back relieved, now I could start over.

People’s opinion of me never really mattered but now more than ever it’s almost like I don’t even hear their opinions anymore, and not hearing is way better than not caring. I am truly happy and it is not the result of anybody’s action but my own, if everybody that is in my life walked out tomorrow it wouldn’t make me sad is might be a little disappointed but I would carry on like it never happened.

I wake up happier each day than the day before, I am so motivated to try new things and be a new person. A year ago I knew nothing about cooking and had never been interested. I considered cooking to be something that society expected women to do, I had no interest in societies expectations. But today I am cooking, I am baking macaroni and cheese pies, lasagna, healthy fish dishes, you name it and I can do it.
I worked in media for years as a television host not learning anything but the basics of what my job entailed, being in a new environment with a much better attitude and some time on my hands, I have learned to edit not only in Adobe premier but also in final cut 7 and final cut X. I invested in a good camera and a lighting system that I can fully set up in my own house and use. I can do anything with google and YouTube there isn’t really anything that I can’t do myself. Two weeks ago I built my own website and all these tasks were things I had to pay others to do for me in the past, today I put them on my list of things to do.

I literally went from being very depressed and terrified of what the future held, to happy, inspired, and driven to create my own destiny. My Big Bang moment

Have a great week everyone, and always remember time heals all wounds I have lived it so I know. :)

Is 2014 the year of Idolatry? Is Instagram the Devils tool?

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First of all I don’t believe Instagram is the Devil’s tool but I wanted to be dramatic so I had to use something you guys could relate to. Think about it though, if Idolatry is back; then Instagram would be the perfect way to show the devil the different things we deem worthy of worshipping. lol

So I’ve been getting this weird feeling, had it for quite a while now I don’t know why but it’s almost as if something isn’t quite right. There has always been negativity and angry people but for some strange reason I feel like there’s more now than ever before.

As I scroll through my instagram timeline i see a barrage of posts including high-end shoes, high-end bags, high-end jewelry, designer this, designer that, and people want to make sure you know they’re wearing it. I mean don’t get me wrong nobody loves designer things more than I do, but I don’t measure myself worth based on how many red bottoms I have. People are always flashing money on social media networks and we can’t seem to put it all together. Where did they get all that money? We don’t see them going to work, we don’t know of their dead relatives who left them millions, and we didn’t hear about them winning the lottery. Most of these people are not college graduates and they are not rappers. Yet everyone is telling us they’re a hustler and they’ve worked so hard to have all these things they don’t need that make them happy.

My girlfriend messaged me over the weekend saying she’s been having dreams about a rapture and she googled it, apparently thousands of people around the world are having the same dream. My friends and I have been talking a lot lately about life and how everyone seems to be putting on some kind of show. Celebrities are more praised now than ever before, there are girls who literally worship Rihanna and if Rihanna puts a water bottle up her ass, they are gonna put a water bottle up their ass. Don’t get it twisted i have no problem with Rihanna at all. I’m not saying everyone is a christian and everyone should worship God, but I’m still asking are we worshipping material things, have we created these idols for our own worship? Look around you, the world doesn’t seem right, something is out-of-place, forget the financial situation and the wars, look at the people around you. Everyone is chasing that 5 minute fame, everyone feels like a stranger, Is this our world now where everyone is just so power-hungry and quick to bring another person down, in the sake of what?

Think about it there is a Bronze bull in the middle of Wall street, you don’t see a weird similarity that we should use a cow to symbolize wealth? It’s kind of strange that people genuinely think that success means having designer things, I remember somebody commenting me on one of my blogs. The person was saying i should write a blog on my rise to success, from country girl to shopping in the LV store, I laughed so hard. She assumed because I was from the country it meant I was poor, she also assumed because I owned a few designer pieces it meant I was successful. Poor Girl.

I hope you all have a great week, try to enjoy life the simple things not just what money can buy. :)

xoxo Lauren O Lauren

Gossip is the high price we pay for Being Famous.

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It’s FRIDAY!!!!!!!!! *Throws confetti everywhere* I have not blogged in a long time, I’ve become quite obsessed with my camera and forgotten all about my first love, writing.

A couple of days ago Wendy and Evelyn were in some kind of twitter war, well Evelyn had a Twitter blow up at Wendy, about something Wendy said about her on her show, The Wendy Williams Show. I got a lot of feed back on my Facebook page about the whole thing, a lot of you were saying “It was about time somebody put Wendy in her place”. My whole approach to the situation is a little different, I believe Wendy was just doing her job and she isn’t as mean as people want to believe, it’s just the business. If Wendy said it you know she said it, I can appreciate someone who can make a statement and own up to it, she doesn’t mean any of the people she talks about any harm. Evelyn has had worst shit said about her than somebody calling her baby a cash register, in case she forgot we all watched “Basket Ball Wives”, don’t get me wrong I love Evelyn but she knows the business.

From being in the television industry for over ten years and being on the social scene there are a couple of things I’ve learnt along the way, that I think can be applied to everyday life. Being popular has its price believe that and it doesn’t even matter how you got famous, I’m pretty sure if we dug hard enough we could find a group of older ladies saying what a slut Mother Theresa used to be, people gossip about the President for crying out loud. Kim Kardashian’s sex tape with Ray J is older than my nephew who is reading 200 page books now, yet people still talk about it, and even though she has more than proven to us that she is an Entrepreneur with amazing business sense, critics won’t let her forget the tape. But for ever 100 bad things being said there are a 1000 good things being said that’s all you need to remember. :)

Ten things I learned working in the television Industry/ being on the Social scene:

1- The oppression you’re gonna get will come from your own people who secretly wanted it to be them and not you

2 – Everybody will act like they give a fuck when they call you to tell you that they heard somebody talking crap about you or read some bullshit about you. They will never call you to tell you about the good they heard about you and they will not talk about the good they know.

3 – People will question the existence of God, they will question whether or not dinosaurs roamed the earth but they will never question a rumor they hear about you.

4 – Not everyone you hang out with is your friend, some people are only good for those Kodak Moments, accept the fact that you can’t trust everybody around you.

5 – Your happiness, your positivity and your go getter attitude will just stir up more anger and oppression, press on anyway. Pretend you’re happy even when you’re not.

6 – Don’t ever allow yourself to get caught up and think this is it, there is so much more for you to see, you’re never done learning, never done growing.

7 – Jealousy is a weed don’t water it, those who know, know. You don’t have to advertise.

8 – Everybody will want to know who you’re dating and if you don’t tell them they’ll attach you to everyone they see you speaking to. Keep your private life private you have nothing to prove to anyone.

9 – Stay away from people who get excited by gossip, people who will listen to “suss” about anybody even people they don’t know, stay away from that energy.

10 – Never ever react to hate or negativity because when you react you shed light on unnecessary darkness and now everybody is going to want to know what it’s about. Leave people in the dark alone.

Have an amazing Weekend my Love Bunnies.

xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren.

Gifts you shouldn’t get your spouse , They are bad luck!

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Ok so Valentines day has gone and some of us got presents some of us didn’t, a lot of us are having birthdays and I know some of us are still playing with the gifts we got last Christmas. But you know everything in life has superstitions and I personally am not a very superstitious person, hmmmmm kind of I mean we’re all a little superstitious. But I can actually relate to some of the bad luck gifts, so I thought I’d share them with you guys, lets see if you got anything from the list.

1- SHOES!!! – This one I heard of a little too late but I really believe this one, it’s a very old superstition probably one of the oldest in the book. If you buy someone shoes you are basically giving them the tool to walk away from you, so never under any circumstances give shoes.

2- WALLETS – If you’re going to give someone a wallet you must make sure money is in it, if you gift an empty wallet its foreshadowing that the wallet will be empty through out it’s use and who wants an empty wallet.

3 – A Fountain this one I don’t really get but hey, this one is based on the laws of Feng Shui, just like the water that is constantly flowing from it so will the persons finances. The person will constantly be loosing money, they won’t be able to hold on to it, it will flow from them like a fountain.

4 – Perfumes, now they say it is bad luck to give perfume to your lover unless they give you a small amount of money back even a penny, in exchange to counteract the bad luck heading their way.

5 – Watch/ Clock by giving a watch or a clock you are putting time on the relationship. This one I have also seen happen a couple of times.

6 – A Single Rose, In Italy giving a single rose in any color represents death, and the Italians know a thing or two about death.

Hope you guys enjoyed this blog and remember it’s just superstition and you are what you believe. You don’t have to believe it. Have a great day xoxox

Gold Diggers and Materialistic women, *Yawn* men are still complaining

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If a woman talks about a man and starts judging them immediately she is shallow, Gold digging, egotistical this bull shit that bullshit. But when a man starts to talk about a woman, its alright cause men know women right? It’s ok for a rapper to say “Fuck these bitches, I’m not trying to find love just wanna fuck these bitches and she can bring her friend”, but when Nicki Minaj say “Fuck these Non- Mogul ass niggas, sharing a bottle of but in the club wearing the same chain niggas” Oh my GAD how dare she say that she’s a gold digger!!! *YAWWNNNNN*.

I went off on some asshole who made a comment under one of my youtube videos today, I chased his ass all over social media some skinny white dude with too much to say. I’m gonna be honest this video got a lot of views and most of the people watching it were men, because the video was talking about Valentines Day. I have a new series on my Youtube channel called “Ask Lauren”. A girl asked last week what if her boyfriend doesn’t celebrate Valentines Day but she does and she wants him to get her something anything she doesn’t care what it is”. So I did a video responding explaining I didn’t think Valentines day was necessarily a couples thing and if you tell him you want a gift and he goes out of his way and not buy you one, especially if he can afford it he’s probably being an asshole. Because if a guy likes a woman we all know he’ll do things he doesn’t wanna do to please her, love changes people. Men have women do things they don’t wanna do all the time.

Of course I was attacked by all the men who watched the VLOG they took all the negatives out of it, because we all now whenever money, or gifts is concern between a man and a woman they pull the gold digger card, they pull the shallow card, this one nigga pull the “Don’t conform to the laws of society” Card. Some of you need to shut up you need to fucking conform, conforming is not a bad thing, conforming is how humans get along with other humans, its how countries are ruled and civilizations and formed and also how they survive so don’t come to me with that bull shit.

So to keep this blog short, I’m gonna say this one last time as simple and as effectively as I can, MEN if you don’t like Gold Diggers, If you don’t like Shallow women, if you don’t like women who obsess over themselves then don’t DATE THEM, and trust me women like that are not hard to spot. Have a great day Lets keep it moving motherfuckers, we on this topic too long.

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

The War against Women, Roe v. Wade

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Hi everyone, I’ve been missing in action for a while I know have been really busy, I just got back from an amazing photo shoot in New York with Glitzzy Hair I had a lot of fun and if you’re not following me in Instagram you should – @LaurenOLauren.

I would like to consider myself to be a modern woman, just marriage and a baby will not cut it for me not saying I don’t want those things, just saying those aren’t my only goals in this life time. So like a modern woman I have taken responsibility of the situation and I am taking birth control nothing fancy just a very small pill every day. I’m in the US at the moment and I happen to run out so I went to the pharmacy and showed her my empty box and told her I would like another one, “Sure” She said “Do you have a prescription”? she asked
“A prescription for birth control pills, in a first world country”The words fell out of my mouth before I had time to think about it.

I needed a prescription to get fucking birth control pills so I wouldn’t get pregnant and end up being a single mother like my predecessors. I was trying to be responsible, now I’m being told I have to go see a doctor in some states a Gynecologist and get an exam and have him write me a prescription to get birth control pills, an average visit can run you anywhere between $200 and $400. I’m not a cheap person but I’d rather just not have sex and buy a pair of shoes. Also it’s no secret that women on welfare get more money when they have kids, you’d think somebody would say hey “Lets make birth control something you can get without a prescription and make a rule that if you get pregnant while on welfare you get taken off” Save the country a lot of money, but what do I know, I’m from an island we don’t have welfare and you can buy birth control on the streets.

If you’re familiar with the case of Roe v. Wade you would have known that America has been fighting this abortion thing for some time. Let me just say this abortion thing would not be an issue if men could get pregnant, Society has opened up a bit for us women but deep down inside it still thinks we should be barefooted in the kitchen. I read January’s issue of Rolling Stones (the one with Lorde on the cover) I find their magazine to be a good read, it has things I’m interested in, and there was a story about abortion rights. A lot of people believe abortion is murder and its wrong, but what is wrong is bringing a child into this world to suffer, to leave it in a trash can, to be reminded by that child everyday of its father who raped you. In America and a lot of countries they are making it very hard for women to terminate their pregnancies in the early stages, some states have even gone as far as forcing women to have ultra sounds to tell the woman exactly what she already Knows, she’s pregnant and show her a picture of the fetus these laws were created to impose a heavy burden on women, to make us feel ashamed and embarrassed for such a decision. Because when you think about it at the end of the day the woman is the one that carries the child for nine months and in most cases gets left alone with it, because lucky for the man he can just walk away and the earlier he leaves the harder it is to find him. Unless you get pregnant for a big shot who can’t really hide but then he threatens to have you murdered if you don’t get rid of it or leave him alone and raise it on your own.

Like I said if Men could get pregnant there would be an abortion quick clinic at the back of every barber shop. I support abortion, if you get pregnant and you find you are not ready to be a parent, go for it because nothing is worst than bringing a child into the world and that child grows up reminded every day that they were unwanted. I would have forgiven my parents if they had an abortion, I would have taken them out to dinner lol.

This blog is now ridiculously long i apologize, after Beyonce’s Grammy performance with her husband, a performance that I found to be quite boring compared to most, persons were saying it was vulgar and too sexy. It lead me to this question is there a private war against women and why?

xoxo Lauren O Lauren

Its ok to be Unhappy sometimes, don’t beat yourself up

Hi everyone, sorry for not writing in a long time, been really busy :).

I try for the most part to be happy and think positive, but I’m human and it’s damn near impossible to be happy 100% of the time. To be quite honest I’m Happy probably 60% of the time, 20% of the time I don’t know how to feel lol. Some days I’ll be fine and then something sets me off and I’m upset and my whole day is ruined, I beat myself up about it and get so angry because I’m upset. Why Can’t I just be happy and stop thinking about stupid things, why can’t I just forget the past and move on, isn’t that what normal people do?

Through out your self-love and Happiness journey you will question yourself, and for every bad day it will let you question all the good days, and that’s fine. We’re not robots or computers and even those things have bad days, if you find yourself getting down and upset just remember, there will be days. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you and it certainly doesn’t mean that you should throw in the towel and quit, stick it through Rome wasn’t built imagesin a day, athletes don’t become great over night, God took 7 days to build the world, you must know that to get to that level where very little bothers you it will take a work. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Have an amazing week everyone I love you!!!!!!

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

What the Fuck does Christmas mean?

The meaning of Christmas is a gradual thing, and it has a lot to do with age. Depending on how old you are, or how mature you are the meaning behind Christmas will be very different for each of us.

When I was younger I thought Christmas was about presents and Santa Clause,I’ll admit up to two years ago I thought Christmas was about Presents, I ditched the whole Santa thing by about 5th grade. But I was all about the presents I’m gonna admit I love Presents and as I went down my Instagram timeline this year (You can tell a lot about a person by what they post on Xmas lol) I noticed something. We’re all at different places of our lives respectfully of course, for me Christmas is no longer about presents.

I like getting presents and I got lots of presents, but now more than ever I like being around genuine people, I like the laughs and the jokes and the conversations about NOTHING!!!! I like making memories and going on adventures. I met my in-laws this week, remember how I didn’t wanna go, well I went and I’m glad I went I learnt so much from them, just by watching them I realize this is the meaning of christmas and it always has been. The gifts, the things we buy in stores that isn’t christmas that is a bi-product of Christmas invented by all these retail chains. It seems to go hand in hand and over the years everybody seemed to win, but don’t believe all of it. If you wake up on Christmas and you’re all alone and it’s not on PURPOSE, you need to question yourself, because something isn’t right. Even the homeless get together on Christmas and walk to the free soup kitchen together, I’m glad I found the meaning of Christmas before it was too late I didn’t realize it before but I don’t feel as empty and as shallow as I used to brag about being. I had the BEST CHRISTMAS of my ENTIRE EXISTENCE this year. #FACT

Hope you guys enjoyed Christmas and it’s never too late, Christmas happens every year, we’ll get em next year. Have an amazing New Year my LOVE BUNNIES!!!!!!

Christmas Presents, Family and new traditions

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I’m sitting on the floor in the living room waiting for this Essie – “Peak of Chic” to dry on my nails, it’s a clear polish with specks of white glitter in it.

I’m actually quite proud of myself I have completed all my christmas shopping and I’ve gotten everyone some pretty awesome presents, I am the Queen of gifts and all things surprise related. I wrapped a gift for my six-year-old nephew who is brilliant beyond his years and my in-laws, who I should be meeting this weekend. I spoke with my brother this morning also as it turns out we are always the last in my family to hear anything, so I heard some news last night and I made sure I told everyone. In my family I’m the one who keeps everyone connected with information lol.

I’m going to be very honest with you I’m not excited to meet my inlays, I’m not a family person and I don’t like meeting new people. I don’t come from a thick family back ground and the idea of meeting new people poses the question, how will this new person bring further chaos and destruction into my life, how are you going to disappoint me. So I just can’t be bothered, my family and I we never get together and when we do it’s purely by accident, we don’t hate each other (to be honest I hate most of them), but we just don’t need to see each other often like most tight-knit families do. So yes I am very nervous to meet my new in-laws who are very close with each other and tell each other everything.

I am being told that they are now my family, but to be honest I don’t want them to be I’m quite fine with my situation and as we say in Jamaica, “I am not one to Run EEEN”. I will be pleasant and courteous and I will smile and exchange jokes, but I will never consider them my family because when this is all over, I will be but a passing memory to them and his “EX”, so thanks but no thanks.

I am yet to write my new year resolutions, I’m also checking my list from last year, and I have to say I did more than half of things that were on it. I will make my list before Christmas though.

Anyways I’m off to play with my new camera, but let me leave this thought with you.

The Law of Tort speaks highly about the reasonable man, from what I’ve read he seems to be a really nice guy. The problem with people is we’re all rushing to pick a side, it isn’t about sides. It’s about being reasonable, the decision you made was it in favor of or was it a well thought out reasonable decision?

Enjoy your Holidays everyone.

xoxo Lauren

Gone are the Days when your Wife used to bore you to Death, Hello BEYONCE

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ok, I was gonna write a different blog today but I downloaded Beyonce Visual Album that drop last night, partly because of Instagram. (Instagram Pressure is real)

Do you remember when men used to marry those boring proper looking girls and they would have no sex at all, well maybe once every now and again. Those perfect girls who had no sex appeal at all, those were the ones who would qualify as “Wife Material”. And that sexy tight jeans wearing, vocal, head turner would be his mistress? Boy have we come a long way from those stereo types. Just because you’re married now doesn’t mean you can just relax and be boring and it certainly doesn’t mean he won’t marry you because heads turn when you walk in. I look at Beyonce and Jay Z’z marriage and I think wow, finally!!! I’m so glad Beyonce isn’t being his little wife, staying at home and doing boring music videos for boring songs. That woman breathe life into me, if you haven’t heard “Partition” yet go listen to it. Remember when it was not appropriate for a woman to sing or talk about giving a guy head? Well it’s certainly a lot more acceptable for a married woman to talk about giving her husband head in the back of their limo.

I’m going on and on and getting no where with this blog, the point I’m trying to make is, It’s ok for married women to be sexy!, It’s ok for married women to be fun and be known as the life of the party, after all we’re heading into a new year.

So all you wives at home who are stacking up on “comfort weight” you better get your asses in the gym and dust off your sexy clothes “wink wink” The game has changed.

xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren