Over Thinking and Over Analyzing, My Anxiety!!

Everybody has that one friend that is super dramatic, if you were ever 25 minutes late for a meeting with me you are not late YOU ARE DEAD!! LoL I always think the worst, I assume the worst and most times I think everyone is out to get me. That friend is me, lol

It has a lot to do with my anxiety, its had its positive effects and it’s had its negative effects, because I always think the worst and think everything will fail I always have a plan B and plan for the worst. I never expect anything from anyone or any situation and I end up getting more than I bargained for when things work out. The point I’m trying to make is the reason why a lot of us don’t do certain things, or never move forward in life is because we over think and over analyze situations to the point where we underestimate ourselves and our potential, I’m guilty of it too.

DONT-overthink-quote-pics-life-sayings-quotes-pictures   Most situations should not be left lingering on our minds for days, even weeks, heck years after.  Maybe you had a bad day that’s fine lets start over tomorrow. If you need to get professional help to better deal with a situation I strongly suggest doing it, do whatever you can to let go of self destructive behaviors. The world is against ME I’ll yell, I’m dying I’ll moan when all I have is seasonal allergies.

We make millions of decisions everyday in this journey called life knowing what to focus our energies on is a task within itself we really can’t afford to waste time.  I read an article once about “Satisficers and Maximizers” Satisficers are people who know what they want and when they find it they are happy with it and move on to something else in life. For example if they need a tomato sauce with basil in it, once they find it they are done looking for it. Maximizers are persons who have to review all their options even after they have found what they want, because really they don’t know what they want. They will look at every can of tomato sauce making sure they are getting the best price, with the least calorie intake etc, etc. Needless to say Satisficers are happier than Maximizers, which category do you fall under?

Lets both promise that we will let go the heavy burden of worry that we walk around with, promise that we will no longer stress over the things we cannot change and the people we cannot change. Lets just focus on getting through today, so we can make it through this week.

Have a great week everyone.

I will protect my happiness at all costs.

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People might call me petty, I assure you it’s not the first and maybe I am petty. When it comes to the happiness that I have worked hard to achieve anybody threatening my peace of mind will be executed from my life-like a traitor from the Kingdom of Caesar.

Here is where I am in my life  I’m moving forward and I’m avoiding situations and people who I feel are stagnant and poisonous. The things that used to make me sad I have forgotten it and move on. Ex’s try to connect with me hoping to bury the pass and move forward being friends, harmless right? I don’t care I’m not having it you tried to drown me once, I won’t allow you to come swimming with me so you can’t try again. If I couldn’t trust you when we were together, why should I trust you as a friend? Person’s that i no longer speak to for whatever reasons, I don’t check up on them I left them in the past. If you think someone from your past is scrolling your timeline and seeing how good your life is now, I assure that person is not me.

I have mercilessly cut off people who try to unconsciously ruin my happiness with information about things they KNOW will make me unhappy. I don’t care what this person is saying about me, you do not need to tell me especially if I don’t know the person. I do not need to know who my ex is sleeping with.  I’m not one of those women who check up on their ex’s through social media scavenger hunts, I might still be heart-broken but I’m not desperate,  and if you volunteer such information to me, I will CUT YOU OFF and not think twice. If you are good friends with people who have gone out of their way to destroy me, then know this right now YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND.

Of course I’m being petty, but how can you be my friend and the friend of my enemy at the same time? Isn’t that what someone would call a conflict of interest? Anything that destroys my happiness and peace of mind, anything that threatens the peace I have found, any situation that does not serve me I AM WALKING AWAY FROM IT. So not only am I being petty but I have chosen to be selfish,  I have lived a thousand years being selfless a change is gonna come.

My advise to anyone is carefully analyze your surroundings and the people in it, some people you can let go, your peace of mind is worth more than anything.

Find your own Pace & work with it

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They tell you that nothing comes to you, you have to go out there and make it happen for yourself and you have to be able to take advantage of a good opportunity when it comes your way. All of this is good advise yet why do so many of us make mistakes that we can’t recover from? Take risks they tell us, yet sometimes when you take a risk it ends up in tragedy. Not all tragedies are created equal and some do ruin us.

The reason for this is because many of us don’t know our pace, and we determine how to do things for ourselves based on other peoples results, and as we would say in Jamaica “Puss and Dog don’t have the same luck”. It is important that you find your own pace, find what works for you and don’t be in a hurry to have something that isn’t yours, or wasn’t meant for you.  I’m a planner and very deep thinker lol, no really I am. I plan everything I do and think on it deeply do my research and prepare myself for whatever I’m getting myself into, I never blindly step into anything. If the situation is big and I know there will be serious consequences I write it down in my trusty journal and I list the pros and the cons and if the Pros don’t outweigh the Cons by a LOT, then honey I’m not doing it.

Too many people are not honest with themselves and you need to be.  Admit to yourself when you’ve done something stupid and don’t allow yourself to be misguided by others. Find your pace and stick to it, don’t force a situation and don’t watch what other people are doing. Abraham Lincoln said “I go SLOWLY but never backward”. That has become one of my personal mantas in life, I take my time and learn what I need to learn and I go slowly, so if and when I make a mistake which is rare it doesn’t all come crumbling down on me. When you’re driving a car very slowly if you get into an accident you will probably hurt yourself but not die.

Enjoy the rest of your week love bunnies and remember, don’t pay attention to what others are doing and throw off your own pace.

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

Why Am I Glowing and Smiling all the time

My life isn’t perfect there are things I wish I could change but I can’t, I have learnt to roll with the punches instead of trying to miss them, now I pick myself up and dust it off and keep going because that is what life is about. 

I’ve been having more good days because I have stopped stressing about the bad ones. I made a promise to myself last year that I was going to make a change in my life, I was ready to do the things necessary that was going to bring about change in my life and if I fail at least I can sleep at night knowing that I tried. 

You’ve probably never heard of this term it’s called “Flow” and I’ve heard it before but I couldn’t relate, But now I think I know what it means because I know I have it. Flow is when everything in your life is working together  it’s almost like the universe is your personal secretary. Things happen one after the other and opportunities present themselves at every angle. 

This weekend was like a dream, on Thursday my mother in law brought me to Charity group dinner I love charity work and it was right up my alley, animals and children. On Friday I went to a jazz festival down town we laid on the grass and allowed the soothing sounds to wash over us, on Saturday I went to my first baseball game and on Sunday I did my first family photo shoot and I was the photographer.

For the first time in years I feel like I’m in control of my fate and I only do what makes me happy. So yes I’m smiling a lot and I’m glowing, Im not pregnant like a lot of my Instagram followers assume I’m just very happy. 

 

The best part about it is, I don’t need anyone but Myself to make myself I’ve become my own personal super hero a feeling I wouldn’t change for all the riches in the world.

 

xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

 

Have a fabulous weekend Dolls

From The mouth of Bill Cosby

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Just as I posted a blog on this whole racism situation, today I spent the whole day tweeting about my feelings as it relates to black people and racism. About five minutes a go a good friend of mine tagged me in this post, its supposedly an old speech something he said or wrote earlier this year. I wanted to share with you, not my words but the words of Bill Cosby………….

They’re standing on the corner and they can’t speak English.
I can’t even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain’t,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be…
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it’s important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can’t be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.

People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we’ve got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.
$500 sneakers for what?
And they won’t spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2?
Where were you when he was 12?
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn’t know that he had a pistol?
And where is the father? Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn’t that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn’t that a sign of something?

Isn’t it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from??
We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don’t know a thing about Africa …..

I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.
I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don’t have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! !
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ……… And all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person’s problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different ‘husbands’ — or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can’t write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard..
We cannot blame the white people any longer.’

~Dr.. William Henry ‘Bill’ Cosby, Jr., Ed..D

Is it a Race issue? Or is race the excuse???

Ok I was not gonna write a blog about this I actually have another blog in draft that I was gonna post but somebody on my twitter page deeply upset me. We’ve all heard about this Ferguson situation I’m gonna admit I was one of the people making this a black and white issue, when it should be about justice. I belong to a very mixed interracial family, I grew up playing with all different kinds of kids, I went to prep school with lots of white kids, lots of black kids, lots of Chinese kids etc you get where I’m going. At no point at all in my childhood was I told that I live in a Black Or White world.

My partner is white so clearly I don’t have a problem with white people. But for some time we were at odds with the Ferguson case when he said I was making it a black and white issue which is not what it was about, I disagreed and said all white people are racist. His argument was that if a white person was shot ten times by a black person, white people wouldn’t make it a race issue. I still disagreed and stood my ground, I even tweeted that I believed that there were functioning racist white people who had black friends. I know how rude and disrespectful of me to say something like that and I’ll tell you something else none of my white followers responded or showed me that they were offended.

Today I tweeted that we should dress for the job we want and if you dress like a criminal people will treat you like one, I also said sometimes us black people help fuel this stereotype version of ourselves with the way we carry ourselves, I made it clear that I was not picking a side.

Would you believe who responded completely upset? A Jamaican follower on my timeline was very upset and called me out on my tweet saying that “Gun men wore suites and ties also” I don’t know why he assumed that a suite and a tie was ideal attire, he then went to say that me saying I don’t want to pick a side was irrelevant because a side was chosen for me at birth. That’s when I got upset, he’s basically saying because I’m born black I should limit myself to black friends, black situations and whatever else he deemed black appropriate. First of all you’re a Jamaican why are you concerned with racism in the US when Jamaican police kill innocent people everyday for no good reason? As we speak there is the case of Mario Deane, google that to get more info if you are confused. What hypocrisy it made me think people are just jumping in anything to use the race card, you don’t even live in America but you’ve made this your issue and completely ignore the issues happening in Jamaica.

I’ve had to deal with the ignorance of the Jamaican police on several occasions. I’ve been robbed at gun point, they broke into my house and one night a car full of men followed me home, I could tell you stories. And how the police dealt with me in every situation I knew for a fact that if I was in a serious emergency I should never call the police because they won’t help me even if they are in the position to.

The point is that we need to move forward not just as a race but as a people it’s 2014, a lot of things have changed. To the young man who said your side is chosen at birth (he was referring to the issue of black vs white). What will I tell my child to pick a side, when mommy is black and daddy is white? No I will teach my child that the right choice is always the right choice and it has nothing to do with black or white or whatever other race we consider ourselves.

I hope this Ferguson situation is dealt with swiftly and fairly and that the affected people and family get the justice they deserve. Hate cannot drive out Hate, only love can do that, those aren’t my words but they are extremely powerful.

One of my favorite cartoons was Boondocks, I loved watching it because of the topics they dealt with every single episode. One of my favorite episodes was actually based on a true story. Here is a wrap up of the entire situation, you can look for the full length version of the boondocks cartoon if you want. Im not saying racism doesn’t exist because it does, but what I’m trying to say is not every single situation is about racism.

Don’t take life for granted, it’s a gift.

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Hey everyone it’s me again now if you’ve been following my blog over the past four years or even two years, you would have noticed that the tone of my blogs have completely changed.

This past Saturday we met into an accident not our fault and nothing super huge but could have been a lot worst, our car got a nasty blow. Shout out to Progressive car insurance they dealt with the situation so quick and seamlessly we had a rental car in no time and it’s a really nice rental we almost don’t want them to fix our car lol.

Here’s the point of this bog when you least expect it things can change and who knows if it had been a couple of seconds earlier maybe that crash would have been worst.Im usually an annoying passenger seat driver but this time I was on twitter and didn’t have my eyes on the road I wasn’t the one driving however, but I looked down for two seconds and in within those two seconds I was jerked forward. Usually I get very frightened in situations like these, but I felt an overwhelming amount of calm we got out of the car and the girl who was driving the other car met us half way. The first thing she said was is everyone ok, are you alright and we did the same asking if she was ok. I’ve been in accidents before and this is the first time I’ve been in one where everyone was so calm, the accident was her fault and she took the blame with no arguments, we didn’t need to call the police we were all fine. We exchanged insurance information and phone numbers and we should be getting our car back within a week or so.

I believe when you practice gratitude and surround yourself with positive people, keep your vibe positive and focus on the good in the world. Your world just flows and the universe will reward you with positive experiences. Some people get distracted by the bad and focus on the negative, but me I give my attention to the things that truly deserve it. Say this to yourself everyday I have a beautiful home, I have a wonderful family, I have friends who adore me and I have the world at my fingertips, my life is Golden.

have a great week everyone, remember tomorrow isn’t promised so while you have life, make the best of it.

xoxo Lauren O Lauren

How do you overcome Misery?

I get asked this daily, there is no one way to get over a bad situation whatever the situation might be. There is no seven step course of how to prevent a bad situation either, its apart of life, bad things happen to everybody before learning to walk fully babies fall down hundred of times, its part of the process.

So what do you do, what advise do I have to offer some one who is going through something that at the moment is just too much for them to handle? what does a sailboat do when it’s at sea? It adjusts it’s sails so the winds can take it where it wants to go, and when the seas get rough it battens down and prepares for it, when the storm passes it assesses the damage and sails again.

There’s nothing much you can do when tough times are happening, just allow yourself to go through the motions. Even the son of God while he was here on earth went through pain, betrayal and endured serious criticism.
The good thing is bad times don’t last but tough people do, so go to work if you have to help the kids with their homework and keep your house clean. Cry and allow yourself to be a little self-indulgent in the things that you want, but when the rough time is over and the storm has passed, get up brush yourself off and move on with your life don’t allow a temporary situation to permanently affect you forever.

Have an amazing week everyone. Please feel free to email me with questions or situations that you need a second opinion on.

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

We don’t lose things, we simply upgrade to better things

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Hi everyone I hope you’re all having a good day and if you’re not remember what I always tell you, nothing lasts forever.

I thought it was super important for me to write this blog for you guys just incase some of you were going through a similar situation. Most of us have been at that place in our lives where we feel like everything is being taken from us, like some strange force just stopped by one day and swooped the entire world we knew right from under us. We lose our friends, our family starts to drift away, the love of our life tells us they don’t love us anymore, and our kids start to rebel what is going on in our world?

You might think you’re losing your sanity and your piece of mind but you’re not, you’re actually being upgraded to a better situation I promise you trust me I know this. I lose things and people all the time. But I always get compensated with better people and better things later on. When I think back at some of my darkest times the things and people who I lost even if I hadn’t lost them and things had remained the same before the trouble, what I have now is far greater and far better than that which I lost when it was good. That’s why I know for sure that you shouldn’t worry about things that fail now because anything that fails, failed because it wasn’t the right fit and something better will come along.

Feel free to cry now but feel better soon because later you will laugh.

xoxox Lauren O Lauren.

An Amicable Split, can’t we just NOT be friends?

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It’s crazy how complicated life gets and how quickly things turn for the worst. Break ups are never smooth whether you’re breaking up with your lover or you’re breaking up with your best friend, they just have this way of becoming very messy.

Here’s the problem with friendships once they no longer work, people genuinely believe that the end of a friendship means war. Everything you ever confided in them becomes public knowledge and that’s too messy. Just because you guys are no longer friends anymore it doesn’t mean you should tell everyone that your friend’s boyfriend used to be gay but she only told you. We need to be grown ups we’re all acting like we live in one big high school type universe.

When someone and I have parted ways friendship-wise I literally just act like nothing changes, the only difference is I don’t call them anymore and we don’t hang out. But if some one says to me “Whats up with X” because there is always a nosey mother**** who tries to pry into your business by acting all concerned, I just respond with “Yea they’re good, we’re just super busy with our own individual things right now, we don’t get to see each other that much” and I leave it right there and keep it moving.

Bad mouthing, trash talking and the whole teenage dramatics just because you and somebody aren’t friends anymore, that shit gets old. It makes you bitter and bad blessings will follow you. I just try to live a simple life and keep myself to my damn self.

Have a great weekend y’all, and Happy Independence Day America!!!

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren