Bare with me as I ramble about something that has no meaning or substance but sometimes I just can’t help myself, I was having this conversation with this guy who’s divorce just became final, and he was saying how he got married for all the wrong reasons, he felt sorry for her and he should have never married her.
Before that another guy was telling me the reason why he stayed with his ex for almost five years even though he knew the relationship wasn’t working was because he felt a lot of pity for her he didn’t want to leave her, he didn’t think she could take it.
What the Fuck is wrong with me, why is it that no one feels sorry for me! Am I too strong? Why aren’t I planning a pity wedding too, I don’t get it. Guys always tell me I’m strong and ambitious and I’m going somewhere!! Nigga Fuck you I don’t want to be strong and ambitious I want to be a damsel in distress come fucking rescue me!! I have as much sad stories as the next chic, if not more, I could on and on for days with sad stories, and the “I’ll kill myself if you leave me lines” I can do that, just give me a chance and I swear in no time you’ll feel sorry for me.
What separates the woman you stay with because you think you have to and the woman you can just walk away from because you know she’ll survive? And what is the allure behind a woman you have to pity, I thought you men wanted strong independent women, isn’t that the bullshit you feed us in conversations over our first few dates?
Let me get this straight if I’m not crying every night because my Dad sexually molested me as a child, and if I don’t have cuts on my hands from cutting myself with a knife because it makes me forget I grew up in an orphanage, you’re not gonna feel compelled to stay with me forever? What the fuck is going on here, so on top of thinking like a man, I have to get into the mind frame of 13-year-old molested teenager? And all my relationships with men have to have been abusive or your just gonna leave me when you get tired and bored?
I thought I had men all figured out and then you hit me with this fucking TRAIN, Why do we women have to put up with this, why is that we have to be plotting and planning and scheming to show you how much we love you and want to spend the rest of our lives with you? How about you just return our love or at least accept it and shut the fuck up and be courteous, when we give you our all say thank you!!!!!
Where did we go wrong? what the hell is happening here, I feel like the end is near and if it is, do I at least get to carry my shoes and purses to my final resting place? I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m at my wit’s end. Women are giving men ultimatums and they’re taking it because they feel guilty, and in order for a man to feel guilty, you have to guilt trip him and before you can guilt trip him you have to put up with years of unfair, rough treatment, you have allow him to cheat a couple hundred times, you have to catch him cheating another 200 hundred times, he has to forget your birthday every year, it’s like a fucking math problem. If you aren’t letting them get away with some bullshit then they give you this, “I was a good boyfriend to you, I always treated you fair. But I just don’t think our relationship is working” The most bullshit movie line I’ve ever heard, it’s so fucking bad I don’t think Shakespeare would ever write it, so just because I didn’t catch you fucking that girl from work and I have absolutely no proof that you are sleeping with her, apart from the fact that every time you see her you build a tent in your pants, you think you were a good boyfriend?
I have to figure out a fool-proof way to make myself a victim in the relationship, so I can force him to marry me and then he’ll have to spend the rest of his life unhappy and when he’s tired of that, we’ll divorce and I’ll take half of his hard-earned money for all the times I had to fake an orgasm or pretend that his tiny penis was gentle monster. hmmmm It could work.
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren