I’m possibly the happiest I have been in two years and it took a lot for me to get to this stage. I had to stop thinking about the past, I had become a victim and a slave to my past. It was constantly lurking around, I’d wash my face and brush my teeth and I’d look up in my mirror and I wad wearing a reminder of my past around my neck, it was horrible. I had to literally train my mind to not think, it took me a while to stop thinking about the things that were making me unhappy. I would sit down and create different scenarios in my head as to why a situation went the way it did and it would constantly make me more upset than I was before. I didn’t even realize I was poisoning myself. We can’t control other people’s actions, or tell them how to deal with a situation and that was my problem.
I was getting upset because that wasn’t the way I would have dealt with the situation, I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t being empathetic. It was hard for me to be empathetic because I had allowed myself to be the victim, and being the victim means I’m the only one allowed to cry, get upset and be bitter. I had to let go of all these things before I could find happiness.
One of the most important techniques I learned in maintaining my happiness, was constantly reminding myself of the reasons why I should be happy. We never do that enough, I also realize that I like going to my Mom’s house and being with my dog, i forget a lot while watching my dog play with his new Barbie doll I gave him last month. He happens to like it a lot more than his actual dog toys, people say that dogs are color blind but my dog seems to be drawn to things with bright colors, like yellow and orange, yes very strange.
I find that being around the people I grew up with puts my mind at an incredible ease, I feel relaxed and I’m not as worried, it’s a permanent friendship that I know will never break, even if we argue or one of us sells each other out to the police. That makes me happy.
Sometimes maintaining your happiness, is all about finding what makes you happy and keep doing it. It’s very hard to stay away from the negative, even if you try to block it. In math they teach you that when a negative and a positive comes together you get a negative. Psychologist have noticed that when you confine a sane person with a mad person, the sane person gets mad instead of the other way around. What this all means is Negativity, Sadness, and Hatred is easier to see, find and affect you. Your aim is to stay away from everything associated with it.
maintain your happy everyone, the world is not as cruel as it looks and not everyone hates you. I remind myself that everyday.
xoxox Lauren O Lauren