Portia Simpson Miller The SuperStar

Hi everyone, I launched my website this past weekend, it’s been a long time coming and it’s something I was working on, but like they say nothing happens before it’s time. I just wrapped season one of The Lauren O Lauren Show and I honestly can’t believe I made it through the season with all the hiccups and set backs and disappointments I’ve had along the way, I’ve completed the season I’m ready for round two. These past couple of weeks have been rough on me, I’ve been very uninspired and depressed. I’m at another cross roads in my life and I hate cross roads, I hate roads for that matter, I’d really like to just stop at the rest stop and just chill, permanently.

I went to an event over the weekend not sure if I can call it that, It was “The Women’s Empowerment Expo” at the National Indoor Sports center, I got some really nice Vintage earrings there oh my goodness, I’m obsessed. Anyways as I was saying, we were standing by the earring booth and a small hush came over the entire place, and people were moving towards the entrance, by this we realized Portia Simpson Miller our Prime Minister was coming inside. Now I’ve met her several times and I’ve been places where other Prime Munsters have come but this time was different and every time she’s at an event I notice this difference. She walked in and you could feel it, you felt that outer body experience, almost like you weren’t in your body you were outside looking at it. It’s what I imagine when I think about JFK entering a room, Obama entering a room, Oprah entering a room, the Pope, it was that feeling. She walked in and you could tell this was a powerful and sure individual, she wasn’t just walking inside and heading to the area designated foe her, she had slow concentrated steps, she was looking at everyone she passed and was making eye contact, she was saying hello, she was waving and greeting people and you can’t fake the effect you have on people.

I am no way A PNP supporter or a JLP Supporter I dont vote I tell people, I’m not stupid I know people like me at the bottom of the food chain don’t benefit from politics, so I look but never participate, I dont know if she’s a good Prime Minister this blog is not about that.
This Blog is about Portia Lucretia Simpson Miller, Born December 12, 1945 (Ruling under my sign by the way) from Wood Hall St. Catherine sources describe the area as one of the very poor sections of Jamaica, who grew up to be Jamaica’s first female Prime Minister winning not once but twice. This Blog is about a woman known as the voice for the poor and Unemployed and a women’s advocate and those with no voices, the same woman who Time Magazine honored as one of the most influential people in THE WORLD, a list of 100 persons, chosen from a list of possibly millions.

Tell me that you can’t see that this Woman is a Superstar, forget everything you don’t like, you say she’s loud but Jamaicans are loud, you say she’s unintelligent how many of you are?, say what you want to say the fact still stands, Portia Simpson Miller is a SUPERSTAR, and for a woman to command and hold that much power is something worth commending. I am a woman who is comfortable in my own skin and personal success so I can look at another woman and say ‘Yea, Ratings”!

When I’m in the same room as Portia, she makes me want to be great, she makes me want to become something and that’s how I judge a great person by how they make me feel when I’m in their presence. I’ve met many great people or many influential people in Jamaica who are supposed to be the “Top A Top” people, and I’ve felt nothing, absolutely nothing waiting on that spark that never comes.

Take a look at the people society tells us to put on a pedestal, take a look think about it tell me how they make you feel. Most of them born in money, then they become these great figures, and I’m like “ooooooh that must have been hard for you being born in all that money, mommy and daddy financing you right through college then taking the car back cause you crashed it after coming home from the club drunk. And now you have your own 5 star company and doing really well, God Dammit I’m proud of you”

All I’m saying is Portia is my superstar, not the DJ’s or The artist or the actors, no that simple girl who grew up to be her nation’s first female Prime Minister, she’s my Role Model, A woman of substance is who I look up to.

This Blog is a bit longer than usual, but I feel like I had to say that, I want to thank everybody who reads and subscribes to my blogs, the people who think my advise is worth listening to, for watching my show and the amazing support that I have received over the past couple months, I am extremely grateful.
It makes what I do that much easier so thank you.

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren “Some are Born Great, Some achieve Greatness and some have Greatness thrust upon them”

Disappointment and it’s connection to strength.

The Oxford dictionary describes disappointment as the noun to the word Disappoint which means: “Fail to fulfill desire or expectation of; Frustrate”

Disappointment can be a very painful thing and lead to many other unpleasant things, we all wish people would mean what they say or don’t say it all, we all wish people would keep their word. Some of you are wishing their boss did give you that pay raise they had promised them the one you planned your entire year around but didn’t get because things didn’t work out the way he planned.

The more disappointed you become is the stronger you get, you develop a person and that person in time won’t ever need to depend on anyone for anything not even happiness because they would have learnt to give themselves everything. It’s through crying that we appreciate smiling and because of suffering we understand the privilege of well-being, its hard to stay positive when everything is crumbling around you. I thought my life was in shambles until the news of my high school friend’s father’s death 3 nights ago made me realize, there are bigger issues at hand she buried her mother last year and this year she bury’s her father, she is raising her son alone and yet she remains positive.

Look at it this way in darkness, you are always able to see clearly the first sign of light, doesn’t look too bad when you look at it from that angle does it.

I won’t tell you not to be disappointed you have the right to your emotions and sometimes the only way to get over things is to acknowledge them, acknowledge how you feel sometimes our emotions get the better of us and cause us to do things we wouldn’t normally do, but they hardly ever steer us in the wrong direction so feel free to trust them, even if sometimes things don’t go the way you plan.

But Just understand that your Now disappointment will lead to later strength, happiness and most importantly a lesson learnt.
Remember when someone disappoints you, it’s not really you they disappoint but themselves even if neither of you believe it, every time you think you let someone down, you have let yourself down and for that you should feel worst.

xoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren “I don’t fear disappointment as much as I fear Nothing”

Upgrade your life make it Toxic Free, From Friends to Boyfriends.

Happy New Year everyone this is my first blog since 2012 I’ve been a little busy and I have some new projects on the horizons that I’m so excited about, But first a quick word of advise for my dedicated blog readers. The hardest part is always the lift off, just know that you’re closer than you think to your “Greatest Self”.

We live in a toxic world and its hard to stay away from it but there are a few techniques you can do to make sure that you’re world is toxic free, evaluate yourself, don’t worry about your pass but don’t forget it, forgetting causes you to repeat the mistakes, only live in the present and while you can’t always plan for tomorrow make sure you prepare for it.

Those Toxic Friends get rid of them, if you find yourself with your friends and the only thing you can talk about is how bad some other girl looked at a party or whose man doesn’t want them, let them go they are toxic and they are poisoning you. Friends live, love and laugh together not team up and tear others down it will back fire and the universe will hold everything that would have made you great back from you. Life is too short to waste it not living.

Toxic relationships the men and women in our lives who don’t really make us happy and your relationship becomes a job instead of an instinct, there are certain key things that I do in my relationships and it works for me, however it might not work for you. Because I work in the Entertainment industry to maintain the years in my relationship I do the following:

1- I don’t date anyone in the entertainment sector
2- We are Not friends on Facebook
3- I never change my relationship status on Facebook
4- We don’t follow each other on twitter and we never mention each other either
5- We don’t go to popular parties together, our “We time” is never spent in too public of a situation

Those are my top 5 tips as it relates to my relationships and it has worked great thus far.

In a Man and Woman relationship its about team work and supporting each other, if I organize a bake sale in the middle of halfway tree my boyfriend will be there collecting the money while I share the cake, we always ask each other about work or projects we’re working on. I never feel like I have to please him or stroke his ego, its like my best friend and I are hanging out all the time.

But ridding your life of Toxins doesn’t start with reading a blog, it comes with experience and growing up and realizing after a while that one thing doesn’t make you happy and maybe you should try another. There are a lot of sad people in this world but with a little love and positive thinking and supportive people who influence you to do better, for every sad person then you can trust there is five (5) happy people.

“Nothing can stop a man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; Nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude” Thomas Jefferson

xoxoxo Love always Lauren O Lauren

For some people you won’t be enough, for others you will be too much the important thing is being right for yourself.

Tell Mama I’ll be home Late…

25 years baby love, I’ve been walking this earth screaming and kicking my way around for 25 years, We had breakfast this morning across from us was a couple who were probably married for a couple of years, The man never looked at his wife he sat diagonal in his chair and never said anything to her, she sat looking at everything with eyes that looked like they cry every night every now and again she said something to him and he looked at her, nodded and then continued looking into oblivion. Then there was another couple young and obviously in some sort of love, they were babbling to each other in French I was so annoyed and irritated at the fact that I couldn’t understand what they were saying that I was tempted to get up and tell them how rude it was to speak a foreign language in public.

Thats when I realized I haven’t changed that much, Sometimes people change and the world stays the same, sometimes the world changes and people stay the same and thats why it all seems a mess we never seem to sync the whole thing together. This Weekend I turned 25 and it couldn’t have happened on a better day my birthday fell on a saturday so started celebrating on the friday and caught 25 at midnight, I’m gonna completely leave out the bit where I wake up at 4am in the morning throw up that fucking Mcdonald’s I knew I didn’t want but ate anyway. I had an amazing birthday I wore a tiara made from crystals and spent half a day at the Spa.
Night of my birthday I emptied my purse and re organized it, threw away old receipts and broken eyeliners, known as the life of the party yet last night and the pass few weeks when someone says Club or Party I pretend not to feel well, when I do go out by 2am i wanna be in bed, did some shopping on Oxford Circus and I didn’t buy anything black or grey, The Change had already begun.

Gossip doesn’t seem to interest me half enough unless I can get the person on my show and interview them about it, Im looking for that big “Turn Over” bitches unless you can get me a copy of that tape, or this pictures or the accused will agree to an interview on my show I’m not interested in that shit, Im running outta time I gotta make an impact on this earth and I need to do that in this life time, sitting around talking shit with people aint gonna cut it for me, anymore.

I know I’m rambling on, but I hope you can pick a few lessons out of what I’m saying, Don’t ever apologize for the choices you make, Everyone is allowed to make mistakes and the younger you are the more mistakes you can make, as we get older it is our right as growing adults to leave more and more of it behind. By now I would have written a long list of new years resolutions that even I know would be impossible to attain, I didn’t write one this year and I got more done by accident than I could imagine, my new rule never make a to do list that’s more than a week! It’s easier to live today than it is to live tomorrow, tomorrow isn’t here yet.

If you had a life changing experience or something you wanna tell me thats inspiring go ahead an email me “Lolshow1@yahoo.com, and remember I want your comments and recommendations on my dam show!!!

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

The Secret to Happiness REVEALED

I have found the secret to Happiness and you’re not gonna believe how achievable it is, are you ready?

The secret to true Happiness is the ability to see beyond that which makes you unhappy, and knowing that you are on your way to something better. Not just believing it but knowing it

HAve an awesome day everyone.

xoxoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

Is Jamaica ready for Change

We are a nation of warm no problem people, at least thats what the Sandals adverts on American Cable tv let everyone believe including us some how, and warm hearted we are, life in Jamaica is laid back, everyone is always late, shops close early because everyone has to make it home in time for Dinner, and there is without a doubt a rum bar at the end of every street corner and at no time at all are any of them empty, Jamaican’s can hold their liquor and if it wasn’t for cable tv all these drunk driving accidents probably would have never happened.

Red Stripe Launched a new Marketing Campaign to sell more “BEER” using a life size Bear by the name of “Red”, the campaign with in it self was genius I love Drama when in doubt create controversy, tune ups could be made to the execution so as to maximize the entire effect, somewhere Red the bear got stuck in the middle of not being simple enough and not being complicated enough to generate a massive buzz. Red the bear though he means well for Beer, is just not a relatable character yet, of course we still don’t know him well enough so he could become very relatable, very soon.

Is Jamaica ready for change Redstripe? you should know you are our Jamaican beer and have stayed authentic up until the point where you sold out to the German company but thats not the point, the point is you are one of us.
Many Jamaican’s thought they were using the “BEAR” because it sounds like “BEER” when you say it. This is what I got from the campaign, my own personal fucked up interpretation is this, Bear’s steal things, if you have a cabin in the woods in a country that has bears they might break in, for example those of us who watched YOGI BEAR growing up (a lot of people did not get that key factor). Yes there are no bears in Jamaica but that’s why Red came all the way here because the beer is so amazing he had to leave his home in the woods some where not close to shore and come steal this magnificent beer and mix and mingle with the locals, it’s every animals dream to be a human and the best kind of human to be is a Jamaican cuz we have Dancehall, Vybz Kartel and The fastest man alive.

Is the campaign a bad idea, will it work? as DJ NICCO disc jockey and radio personality said yesterday on twitter; “@DjNicco876: Budweiser used 3 frogs, geico use a salamander, taco bell used a dog… U ppl are over analyzing. Just laugh and move on with ur lives. LOL”

Red Stripe isn’t the first to use a BEAR to get the message across;

Bud lite bear has also used a Bear

Im looking forward to going clubbing with Red, as a woman who drinks Red Stripe lite to sober up and because it has less calories and keeps me cool at a beach party, I’m looking for Red Stripe to get some added buzz out of this campaign.

xoxo Lauren O Lauren

We are Satisfied, just look around you

I haven’t written a blog in a while, I’ve been a little distracted. But during my distraction I have learnt something very Important, i complain a lot about all kinds of stupid shit but I learn something every time I come home, or I talk to my cousin or my sister does something I didn’t expect her to do, or a friend of mine surprises me with a good deed.
“It is what it is, and it isn’t that bad” I can live with the decisions i’ve made I can grow from the mistakes i’ve made and I’m not chained to the people that make me unhappy, and if the situation is unfulfilling no written or unwritten contract can keep me in it. This world is a man made Manifesto, but it is God’s creation and quite frankly none of these fools running around balling and whatever can’t come close to the man who created Adam and Eve, not to get all religious on you, but you catch my drift.

I am satisfied, yea I complain but only because it’s apart of my personality, my life isn’t half bad, and neither is yours, look around you, there are so many other people who should be unhappy but we get fooled by the things we think they have and the life we think they’re living and the cars we see them driving. They are miserable because a lot of them are living in the shadows of who they really are, because they created a reputation and have to live with it or they have people who tell them who to be.

I’m satisfied my family is fucked up but they’re the greatest fuck ups I’ve ever met, if i’m ever in a situation I know I can call one of my sisters, or my mom or one of the other complaining members of my chaotic family, so all the other petty problems i’m having with the external, totally controllable factors in my life, is neither here nor there…….

….. “it is what it is, and it isn’t that bad”

xoxoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

The boys that glitter aren’t gold!!!!!

(PS I wrote this on my iPad and using word fess on here is funny tons of mistakes are in here that I can’t correct)

I’ve been caught up with a ton of stuff you’ll see soon!!!
However my sears I can tell you that although I sleep in every day, drink way too much in private and is loosing sight in my left eye at a rapid pace, I am more awake than I have ever been in my whole life, as I walked to the ATM machine this morning a very nice silver two door car windows down and music blaring shot past me at such a speed that it tangled my fucking weave!!! Not to worry I’m wearing remi so it quickly untangled and got back to its luxurious self. The point is the person driving shirtless, tanned and handsome was not the owner of the car!!! The owner of the
car would never drive it at the speed and the tinted windows would never be down. I have a name for men who front with other people’s things, I findly call them “Jenny’s” coming from the French word “Jermain” spelt with a J or G respectively. However this blog is not about the Jenny’s of the world, it’s about us girls and how we allow ourselves to be well not taken serious.
I was in the country this past weekend at stage show of some sort, and u started talking to this man purely by accident and in the heat of the noment, some one I would not talk to on a regular day, he doesn’t look like David Beckham, he doesn’t even travel to let Alone be a foreigner, hes a taxi driver, but for the whole night he kept offering me drinks, asking me what I like, my hand was never empty, even volunteered to drive me back to all the way to Kingston if I wanted to go to the beach! The irony is a man like that would give me anything my heart desires as long as he could afford it, he would live to make me happy, he wouldn’t sleep soundly if he knew some one made me unhappy. But I would never date a man like that, he doesn’t fit into my plastic world, and my plastic friends wouldn’t be nice to him, the plastic places I go wouldn’t let him in, because he only wears T shirts. All women are guilty of something like this we shun the men who would really love us for these glittery men. According to a study done last year, entrepreneurs and seemingly rich men are less likely to give women money or gifts because they use their names to date you and think you should be privileged to date them because they’re rich and they jbow you’ll stick around because you’re hoping he will choose you and maybe marry you or some dumb fairy tale like that. When the men who don’t have much are said to have bigger hearts, why is it that I want to settle for a guy who only looks good on paper and take great side shots shoe looks good in all his pictures?

People always say you shouldn’t settle, but it really all depends on the circumstances. There is this specific guy in my life, let’s call him a fucking mistake!!! While talking to this fucking mistake he says to me he would be going to the country for “Sumfest weekend” ( a big music festival type thing we have yearly, the biggest reggae show on earth) I told him, don’t ask me if I’m going you’re going why don’t you take me with you. The Fucking mistake responds by saying “I’ll be working, I can’t take you with me”
Fair enough, however he went last year and brought his girlfriend, will he be busier this year than he was last year? certainly not, but I was not important to this man, he valued me just the same as he would have valued a heart shape leaf, a really cool find but if he lost it, it would still be just a fucking leaf.

Then there I was in a bar, when this guy I knew was fooling around or whispering sweet something’s to a girl I know, hanging out for the long weekend with some say his girlfriend, some one else said that the girl was not. I think it’s his girlfriend because he’s an asshole not a womanizer he wont take a girl out who is not his girlfriend unless he’s in a foreign country.

That’s when it hit me!! Soon I was gonna be 25 and I will have no excuse for making certain mistakes, I should have learnt from all my mistakes already, I’m a great girl, I’m honest, I listen, I spend hundreds of dollars on Agent Provocateur lingerie, why am I these things to happen? So no I’m not gonna be his side chick, I refuse to be cool anymore, I hope one day some of you girls wake up and realize you’re worth more than a few dollars, and for some pussy who’s too scared to tell his wife he doesn’t love her, to tell you in private how great you are, if he can’t bring you out and public and tell his family about you then why would you even bother, let go of that negativity, somebody is waiting to love you I promise.

Xoxoxoxox Lauren o Lauren, eyes wide open ladies stay awake. #TEAMNOSLEEP #pow

raise your glasses to another dead asshole

Alll Good things MUST come to an end.

<<<<<======== Listen to that song.

A lot of you forget that you at the liberty of “Time” and that it doesn’t wait on you it never stops. Babies don’t creep forever, women don’t stay beautiful forever, Men don’t get erections forever and so on and so on. The most we can do is capitalize on the time that we have now and make the most out of the opportunity we are given at any given moment you could loose that window and another person is shining in your seat.

How then do we ensure longevity? we create positive, reasonable lasting impressions. When I say Positive I dnt mean doing good deeds and taking pictures with children who have only 9 months to live. Positive in this case has its own meaning and i’m not going to go into detail and explain that I want you to come up with your own variation of “Positive”.

I believe that “People” are one of our greatest resources, in all things, so at all times we should have “People” in our thoughts you see where I’m going with this, as long as we remember “People” there’s really not many mistakes we can make. I’m saying you should live for “People” I’m saying you should make this great resource work for you, many before you have. All these successful people in some way have made “People” work for them as a valuable resource and you should too, find it, tap into and use it.

One of the many habits of unsuccessful people is buying into the theory that they are number one, and nothing can replace them. Wrong everything is replaceable, now more that ever, I didn’t like the hair I was born with I replaced with custom made 300 hundred dollar sew ins, I don’t like my breast , I replace them with silicone and over priced water bras! We see something, we don’t like it, we just replace it. Don’t ever think that you cannot be replaced, don’t get caught up with being number one because you won’t be there forever and you may have a hard time adjusting to the number two or number three position thats all.

kiss kiss my little poppets!

My fucking period is evolving as much as me.

First of all let me start by saying this is my blog and I talk about whatever I want and I feel like talking about my period.
My body is evolving and its confusing me, I’m 24 yrs old and I’m going through puberty again, I used to always hear women talk about PMS and how it does this to them and blah, blah but I hadn’t actually experienced it for about a year now, I can literally feel my body changing 7 days before my period is expected my breast get visibly bigger (my favorite part by the way) and my nipples get almost unbearably painful.

I’ve also realized that I lose my temper right before my period and during, I’m ready to go off on anybody who thinks they know better than me. But the most unbelievable discovery of all was early last year, when my partner at the time left for a long time and I wasn’t having frequent sex anymore when my period came my cramps were soooo unbearable I had to stay home the first day and not go anywhere, I would be sooo drugged up that I wouldn’t respond to my own phone ringing, I’m back to normal now and the cramps have stabilized. But this amazing discovery made me research further. Turns out when you’re in a relationship or having frequent sex the female body prepares itself unconsciously for baby making. You’re period will get lighter and shorter, but when the body becomes aware that you are no longer having much sex it goes back to chaos and misery.

My last discovery came this morning when I couldn’t get out of bed I was sooo tired and I get really thirsty, so I guess it’s safe to say my period is at a time where it’s kind of telling my body to have babies or I’ll get worst. I’m sorry body you’ll have to get worst! I have access to every drug ever made, prescription or no prescription. When your moms a pharmacist and you date a guy who manages the pharmacy department of the biggest chain of drug stores in the US, psssshhh drugs are like candy I can buy it anywhere!

xoxoxoxoxoxox Lauren