The thing about Relationships is it’s never a balanced scale, horrible yes I know my mother used to say it’s better to be loved than to love someone, the fact is both persons never truly love each other at the same time in the same way, life doesn’t work like that I assure you. So when relationships end most times you have one person who moves on happily, super excited to start fucking other people and one person is left completely devastated in a state of shock almost not having a clue how they wound up in that position.

A lot of persons are able to remain friends with their ex’s, I lift my hats to you (If I was wearing a hat), if I had the money I would hold a ceremony in your honor. I don’t believe in remaining friends with your ex, for two main reasons:

1 – If you hurt the person why would you want to befriend them after you hurt them?
2 – If the person hurt you why would you want to be friends with that person?

When someone says to you “Hey our Relationship didn’t work out but let’s be friends, look them in the eyes and say “Fuck You” and don’t ever look back even if you’re really curious. Don’t let anyone talk you into being friends with your ex unless you really want to, and that’s something you dont have a problem with but otherwise dont have someone who really hurt you convince you, you’d be better as friends.
I believe if you were better as friends you would have been friends not lovers.

Your ex’s should become strangers just forget them, you dont have to go to a party and hail them, and you certainly don’t need to remain friends with your ex’s friends

xoxoxox Lauren, Keep those responses LOUD- FUCK YOU

I long for a manly man, I long for a guy I don’t have to keep reassuring that he’s the only one and a man who is confident in himself, me and our relationship. Now Men are searching our emails when we aren’t looking, they are viewing our twitter conversations and counting how many times we respond to a certain guy, your boyfriend could probably tell you the names of all the men that liked your swimsuit picture on Facebook. Quite Frankly its pathetic when did our men become so needy, the messed up part is they have gotten more needy, gotten more clingy but aren’t anywhere close to loving us better its the same bullshit in a different package. Now we have to deal with all this other added bullshit on top of all the shit they used to do before.

I long for the days when our men were hero’s always ready to fight for us, protect us, ride down on their white horses and scoop us up which would be really easy because we’d be wearing those really tight corsets and it would make our waist really small, so picking us up wouldn’t be that difficult. Face it women our men just aren’t the men they used to be and who is to blame? We are, we’ve spoilt them and made it too easy for them to fully develop into full on bitches they are now our equals, soon they will be wearing tampons and complaining about morning sickness (I’m almost sure they are doing that now). Who said it was ok for them to come get their hair braided in our salons? Who said it was cool for them to be in the chair beside us getting their nails done, who the fuck agreed to them wearing concealer because they got a bad sunburn?
I painted my nails the other and I showed it to this guy asking him if he liked the color and instead of saying “Yea they’re fine” he pointed to a very small bubble in the polish on the finger of my thumb, I almost got down on my knees to ask God if this was some kind of sick joke, where’s Ashton Kutcher when you need someone to say “You got Punk’d”! But that didn’t happen and I have to accept the reality that we are losing our men.

It’s hard, because I’m the ultimate girly girl and I love being in the presence of a man I like being protected, but our men complain they say we aren’t independent enough and they don’t want to have to deal with the pressures of “Saving Us” and when we are independent their ego’s get the best of them and they bitch about us robbing them of their man hood.

Ahh Yes it was the best of times, it was the worst of times…….

xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren, I don’t want to be the man in the relationship anymore.

A heart Breaker is like a good car sales man or an insurance agent, they Flatter you, Assure you then by the time you know what happened you just spent a lot of money on something you don’t need or something that barely drives and in this case you put a lot of time and emotion into a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. There are simple signs to look for and I’m going to tell you what they are from my own personal experiences, ever bought something on a deal and thought “Wow three boxes of Special K cereal only 99 cents, then went home and checked the expiry date and realize that all of them expired last week?
Men are a lot like deals, if you meet a guy and he seems PERFECT, he’s just soooo sweet, he buys you flowers the 1st 10 dates, remembers all your favorite things, emails you love letters and has all the necessary criteria that you look for in a man it usually means something is wrong and “somethings wicked this way comes” (Got that line from a movie always wanted to use it lol) Think about it if he was so perfect some lucky Bitch would have scooped him up and trapped him into putting a ring on it.

If a Guy uses the line I’m different from all the other guys you’ve eve dated I want you to nod your head, smile ask to be excused you need to use the bathroom, get up and run away don’t stop running until you get to a bar, ask for a tequila shot without the lime and thank God because you just made a narrow escape. The fact that he has to tell or rather announce to you that he’s not like the other guys therefore insinuating that he’s better than them, is like a warning sign. You don’t see big designer labels advertising telling you they’re better than those other designer labels do you? No you see the smaller stores always doing that shit, a good man won’t tell you he’s a good man, he’ll show you, he will love you like you’ve never been loved before and will make no excuses about it.

He uses your personality, job or friends to be a reason for argument, if all those things were there before him and he comes into your life after bitching about them it’s reason for concern, he’s just warming up his valid excuse why the relationship will no longer be able to work for him one day.

Ask him how he broke up with his ex, if you don’t think the reason he broke with his ex is valid enough, don’t convince yourself that you want to be in a relationship with this man he might leave you for a reason even less valid. I hate when men or women say “We outgrew each other, we decide the relationship wasn’t working so we broke up” How the fuck do you out grow love? How do you out grow someone who was once your everything? You didn’t out grow, your lust faded and I don’t care if it was 15 years, real love sticks around for the long haul, real love matures and changes with time it doesn’t fade, real love is like buying a great handbag, a few wear and tear but you know with time that bag just gets better and better.

He was once engaged, Unless his fiancé died a man who was once engaged is rumored to be a bad omen, bad luck it’s like walking pass a black cat. Any guy who asks to meet your parents or your Mom in less than six months of dating is a real heart breaker, keep your mom away from him as long as possible, I don’t bring guys home its something I try not to do all the times I’ve done it in the past & I’ve regretted it. I feel like my mom is a rare treasure and only who really deserves it gets to meet her.

All in all I would say when dealing with Men go slow because they’re like a bomb if they aren’t genuine they will go off in due time, you would hate to have gone too far with it. I recommend privacy and time, go slow keep it between you and it will lessen the harmful side effects of an unworthy man. We girls get too excited that’s what these men use to their benefits, treat them the way they’ve always done us, tell them you want to go slow, you’re working on you and if its meant to be it will be and please HOLD OFF AS LONG AS YOU CAN WITH SEX, it’s a magic trick that works.

xoxoxoxo Happy Mothers Day to all the Mothers and the soon to be Mothers

That’s when it hit me, things seem to be always hitting me though. Nothing has changed about my shirt, yea it’s been washed a few times, there’s a stain on the sleeve from that time I walked into a fat lady at the mall carrying a hot dog but it’s still the shirt I bought, why don’t I wear it as often, why do I not wear my favorite shirt anymore? Life is a lot like that I don’t remember where i saw this quote “Nothing is permanent including Success and failure”. The truth about Life is it is ever-changing, ever-moving and ever evolving it’s not a constant, there is a plus and a draw back to that. Lets take a look at the positive, one day you’re living pay check to pay check struggling to pay your rent and the next day you sign a book deal with a publishing company and they’re gonna make a movie based on your book and you’re rolling in the money all those who ever doubted you will be asking for forgiveness, and that’s not just a Drake song.

Nothing lasts forever even forever will come to an end, and sometimes it has nothing to do with any thing in specific the world turns and things change, just take a look at mother nature she changes all year round and she’s never quite the same this winter might the coldest, last October it was snowing in new York, The only thing you can do is be prepared for the change and don’t allow you or anyone to convince you that something will last forever. Your instincts never lie if your inner voice says it’s time to go, leave before it’s too late or you will find yourself in a situation less than satisfying.

Who would have thought I would ever stop wearing that shirt I used to wear that shirt once a week it went with everything, I wore it to the beach, I wore it to the club, i threw it over my gym clothes, it was my ride or die shirt, and then suddenly it was just a shirt in my closet I didn’t even remember it was there.

Don’t allow yourself to be anybodies forgotten T Shirt, You can’t control people’s behavior or feelings but you are in control of your destiny and where you end up, so be responsible.

XoXo Lauren O Lauren

Don’t fear what you dont understand, instead try to understand your fears and over come them.

I went to an event over the weekend not sure if I can call it that, It was “The Women’s Empowerment Expo” at the National Indoor Sports center, I got some really nice Vintage earrings there oh my goodness, I’m obsessed. Anyways as I was saying, we were standing by the earring booth and a small hush came over the entire place, and people were moving towards the entrance, by this we realized Portia Simpson Miller our Prime Minister was coming inside. Now I’ve met her several times and I’ve been places where other Prime Munsters have come but this time was different and every time she’s at an event I notice this difference. She walked in and you could feel it, you felt that outer body experience, almost like you weren’t in your body you were outside looking at it. It’s what I imagine when I think about JFK entering a room, Obama entering a room, Oprah entering a room, the Pope, it was that feeling. She walked in and you could tell this was a powerful and sure individual, she wasn’t just walking inside and heading to the area designated foe her, she had slow concentrated steps, she was looking at everyone she passed and was making eye contact, she was saying hello, she was waving and greeting people and you can’t fake the effect you have on people.

I am no way A PNP supporter or a JLP Supporter I dont vote I tell people, I’m not stupid I know people like me at the bottom of the food chain don’t benefit from politics, so I look but never participate, I dont know if she’s a good Prime Minister this blog is not about that.
This Blog is about Portia Lucretia Simpson Miller, Born December 12, 1945 (Ruling under my sign by the way) from Wood Hall St. Catherine sources describe the area as one of the very poor sections of Jamaica, who grew up to be Jamaica’s first female Prime Minister winning not once but twice. This Blog is about a woman known as the voice for the poor and Unemployed and a women’s advocate and those with no voices, the same woman who Time Magazine honored as one of the most influential people in THE WORLD, a list of 100 persons, chosen from a list of possibly millions.

Tell me that you can’t see that this Woman is a Superstar, forget everything you don’t like, you say she’s loud but Jamaicans are loud, you say she’s unintelligent how many of you are?, say what you want to say the fact still stands, Portia Simpson Miller is a SUPERSTAR, and for a woman to command and hold that much power is something worth commending. I am a woman who is comfortable in my own skin and personal success so I can look at another woman and say ‘Yea, Ratings”!

When I’m in the same room as Portia, she makes me want to be great, she makes me want to become something and that’s how I judge a great person by how they make me feel when I’m in their presence. I’ve met many great people or many influential people in Jamaica who are supposed to be the “Top A Top” people, and I’ve felt nothing, absolutely nothing waiting on that spark that never comes.

Take a look at the people society tells us to put on a pedestal, take a look think about it tell me how they make you feel. Most of them born in money, then they become these great figures, and I’m like “ooooooh that must have been hard for you being born in all that money, mommy and daddy financing you right through college then taking the car back cause you crashed it after coming home from the club drunk. And now you have your own 5 star company and doing really well, God Dammit I’m proud of you”

All I’m saying is Portia is my superstar, not the DJ’s or The artist or the actors, no that simple girl who grew up to be her nation’s first female Prime Minister, she’s my Role Model, A woman of substance is who I look up to.

This Blog is a bit longer than usual, but I feel like I had to say that, I want to thank everybody who reads and subscribes to my blogs, the people who think my advise is worth listening to, for watching my show and the amazing support that I have received over the past couple months, I am extremely grateful.
It makes what I do that much easier so thank you.

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren “Some are Born Great, Some achieve Greatness and some have Greatness thrust upon them”

The Oxford dictionary describes disappointment as the noun to the word Disappoint which means: “Fail to fulfill desire or expectation of; Frustrate”

Disappointment can be a very painful thing and lead to many other unpleasant things, we all wish people would mean what they say or don’t say it all, we all wish people would keep their word. Some of you are wishing their boss did give you that pay raise they had promised them the one you planned your entire year around but didn’t get because things didn’t work out the way he planned.

The more disappointed you become is the stronger you get, you develop a person and that person in time won’t ever need to depend on anyone for anything not even happiness because they would have learnt to give themselves everything. It’s through crying that we appreciate smiling and because of suffering we understand the privilege of well-being, its hard to stay positive when everything is crumbling around you. I thought my life was in shambles until the news of my high school friend’s father’s death 3 nights ago made me realize, there are bigger issues at hand she buried her mother last year and this year she bury’s her father, she is raising her son alone and yet she remains positive.

Look at it this way in darkness, you are always able to see clearly the first sign of light, doesn’t look too bad when you look at it from that angle does it.

I won’t tell you not to be disappointed you have the right to your emotions and sometimes the only way to get over things is to acknowledge them, acknowledge how you feel sometimes our emotions get the better of us and cause us to do things we wouldn’t normally do, but they hardly ever steer us in the wrong direction so feel free to trust them, even if sometimes things don’t go the way you plan.

But Just understand that your Now disappointment will lead to later strength, happiness and most importantly a lesson learnt.
Remember when someone disappoints you, it’s not really you they disappoint but themselves even if neither of you believe it, every time you think you let someone down, you have let yourself down and for that you should feel worst.

xoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren “I don’t fear disappointment as much as I fear Nothing”

Im sorry I have to be the one to tell you this ladies but things and times have changed and men have changed, those signs you used to look for you need not look at them anymore, Men are doing more for the “Sex” than ever before they have realized that women are locking down and are demanding more from men, men being natural born competitors have devised a plan to combat our plans for love, marriage and stability.
Men are telling us they love us when they don’t mean it so now the words “I love you” are just words and every Valentines day flower shops make millions from it. Don’t feel special when he takes you for dinner with your parents he’s done that with all his girls, even the stripper that was suppose to be a one night stand, he introduced her to his mother and his mother texted him saying she thought her tattoo’s were cute.
He gives you keys to an apartment that he has the locks for changed bi-monthly, the gifts, the dinners the heart warming texts all pre done, not a single drop of thought or emotion, I keep telling you ladies it’s war we’re at. Nobody loves you, not your husband, not your brother not your dam shadow, love is ridiculous garbage, you’d do yourself good if you made realistic life goals like learn to swallow knives or something.
Ok I just realize that I went off just now, Ok all that stuff I said about people not loving you only half of it is true, lol, of course your brother loves you and your shadow will never leave your side unless of course you’re in a room where there is no light.

What I’m trying to say my fellow ladies is just because a man says he loves you doesn’t mean shit, remember you have online dating sites now, relationships have been demoralized each person goes in thinking about them and their happiness and not the unit. You have to be really careful you have to protect yourself because no one else will that’s a fact, Go Slow, Go very Slow as it relates to another person never be in a hurry and when you meet someone who has convinced you to go faster than you had wanted to, step back and tell them this isn’t the pace you want to go.

Men have this weird ego, if they meet a woman who is happy, too happy with her single life they try to conquer her like a piece of land, he’ll pull out all the stops. Why do you think when a guy meets the same girl and she says that she wants to get married and have kids he changes his number, Men are sick, confused, lost motherfuckers you have to take them with a lotta sugar, or else that bad taste in your mouth may never go away.

Also what I always do before I get into a relationship is I play out all the possible outcomes, I analyze every move and prepare myself for the worst, cause men are crazy you never know with them. Protect Yourself, don’t stop doing what you’re doing because some guy doesn’t like it, don’t you dare. I always tell women you only belong to the man that married you until then if you wanna have flings, have another partner do it, because he won’t skimp on his happiness even if it’s gonna cost you yours.

Remember Ladies this is War, Love isn’t Real

xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren

I’m beyond annoyed at Men at this moment in my life, Men I want you to get up and stop playing the victim it’s not about you!!

Women are materialistic and all they want is money, Wake the fuck up and smell the coffee stop fucking bitching come from underneath your mothers skirt and take a look around Johnny we’re living in one of the biggest global economic downfalls since the last time it happened. Maybe you should stop going to the clubs and picking u the hottest girl there, she’s wearing a very realistic weave that’s smooth to the touch, she got a baby Louis Vuitton under her arm, an Armani Dress and Red Bottoms, do you think she’s not gonna want a man who can afford her lifestyle?
She doesn’t have to tell you anything open your big fucking eyes and pay attention this is why you dropped out of college cause you’re stupid and don’t pay attention. Explain to me my why would you want to drive a BMW if you know that when it needs a new part the only part you can afford is a Toyota? Go ahead write a 300 word essay and explain it to me.

Every day its the same bullshit from you men, women want too much, all they want is money, “Stop Look The Hot Girl Dem” and go Seventh Day adventist church go get one of those girls whose cousin corn rows her hair every Sunday, she wears jeans and polo T-shirts every where and has no problem wearing sneakers, she has two a black one and a white one, she mixes and matches it and she’s good to go.
Gentlemen I am asking to get yourselves a “Shake & Go” girl, leave the Diva’s alone, leave the chics that go shopping all the time because they must have something new to wear to the club every weekend, “do I am begging you cut you eye Pass dem sir” Certain girl women won’t have to tell you they love money, Open your big fucking eyes, stop thinking with your penis and think with your brain, and I know some of you have problems using your brain but you can try.

The next issue I have is this, men when you meet a woman who straight up confesses that she has issues and she doesn’t want a relationship, then take the woman’s word for it. Do not try to play Hero, Superman had a million dollar deal from Warner Bros unless you have been offered a deal don’t do it.
Too many men pick up women with baggage that they can’t handle and they know they can’t they knew right off the bat but the urge to fuck a woman who seems amazingly difficult is so strong that they do it anyway lying and faking every minute as they go along, then what do you think the results of that relationship is? The woman is bound to go Psycho on your stupid ass! Women with baggage can’t really be hidden, think about it can you hide successfully with 10 big bags? you can barely stand, Before the relationship gets too serious before you start having sex see what her head space is like if she jokes about being crazy, jealous or materialistic LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s probably not joking!!!!!!!!

Men I Just want you to be smart, play the role God made you to play, lead our world, be a fucking leader stop be sissy crying bitches who are now arguing that they need to get their nails manicured and are demanding that hair gel companies make a line for them. We want our Men back, you’ve become complaining whiney little boys, and yes we women complain a lot and we are a lot to handle but at least we never changed we’ve always been a load to handle, sending you out to work while we stay home and play house.

Men women will give you signs they will tell you what they want, don’t wait until feelings are invested and time has wasted you decide you can’t handle a relationship like that, she might pay somebody enough money to have you murdered.

xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

Before I start this Blog I want you to smile, smile right now doesn’t matter how you feel or what has happened to you just smile.

Sometimes we give the best of ourselves to other people, like wearing your best suit to church and looking ragged the rest of the week. We fix our hair because we don’t want them to say it looks messy (Unless that’s the intention of the look), We wash our clothes because we don’t want to be dirty in front of others, We hide our true selves sometimes because we want to make some one else happy, we give them our best and take absolutely nothing for ourselves. We know we’re not perfect so we admit, we admit our flaws, our sins and everything bad about us to God and our fellow mankind in hopes that everything will still be ok and that other people will accept us flaws and all.
But if we never give ourselves the best why do we think someone else is going to consider us, I didn’t know what a soul was until not too long ago, yea I know the devil wants our souls but I didn’t see what the big deal was we didn’t use it anyone, I was wrong.

Your Soul is the engine to who you are, it moves you, it’s your drive, your creativity, your talent, how smart you are everything is all rolled up in our souls. As long as you have your soul there will always be another opportunity, always another chance to smile and make things right. It’s hard not to hate people when we think that they’ve hurt us, we fight for everything in our lives but do we really want to fight for approval, do we really want to fight for love?

Everything, they’ll take everything from you, your happiness, your aspirations, your money, your clothes, your children, even your family but they’ll never take your soul and as long as you have your soul you can get up and do it all over again.
It gets better, because if you don’t feel like getting up and you just wanna lay there until your time is up you can, everyone tells us we have to fight, we have to try again when we fail, what if we don’t want to, what if you’ve fallen down so many times you can’t stand up again. Then this time don’t stand up, everyone thinks they know what you’re going through but no two experiences are the same and no two people are alike, some of us can take a couple punches while some of us get slapped once and we’re broken forever.

They will take everything from you, they will say anything about you, they all think they know what’s good for you and what’s bad for you, but no matter what they take and no matter how many times they take it remember they will never, ever take your soul that’s yours forever.

xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren, I don’t think I’ll get up this time

What a difference a day makes, what a difference a couple of years make. If I could live my life over there isn’t a dam thing I would change, whether you believe in God, the universe or cows there is some ultimate being responsible for the blessings I continue to receive, For the Past two years I feel like I’ve had a Guardian angel watching over me every day is a better day, I literally speak things into being and they happen.

But todays blog isn’t about how amazing my life is now that I have found God lol, it’s about a topic that everyone can relate to in some hemisphere or some sort of way, LOVE.
Before you find true love there will be many scenarios a lot of practicing preparing you for that big moment and its fine everything is fine. There will be many men before him who will tell you they love you, many men will tell you they will Die for you but the beautiful thing about love is you have to do more than say it, Love is a VERB. You will have many pretend romances and silly relationships before you find the one that you simply can’t live without or worst he/she makes you wonder how you were living before.

I found the man who I want to spend the rest of my life with (Well at least until David Beckham decides he wants to date me lol) In no way at all is my relationship perfect we argue all the time, but I know I’ve met him when even after we argue it’s not breaking up that comes to my mind but where are we going this weekend kind of thing. We still go on dates and he buys me gifts every now and again to surprise me, he’ll send me a text message asking if I want to go for dinner and I’ll respond and tell him I’m busy and it feels like we just met and we barely know each other. I know we’re going for dinner and he knows I’m not busy.

In Affairs of the Heart when you’ve met someone you think you want to spend the rest of your life with, it gives you purpose and changes your character in ways where you don’t even feel like yourself. Purpose is one of the most important things an individual could have, you dnt have to be in love to feel purpose but if you didn’t have it before love will help you find it that’s a fact.

When someone loves you they carry all your baggages, in my business I dnt have the luxury of certain things when you’re on TV people become interested in your private life to the point where they create one of they can’t find one that suits them. When you find a man or woman who loves you regardless of what everybody else says let me tell you this keep them. I don’t know a lot of things but I know this man LOVES me, he’s my biggest fan and i can count on him for anything.

This is an affair of my heart and my heart is finally happy, Let me tell you this ladies when you find a man that makes you happy inside out fuck the world and do you, all they can do is speculate and wonder they dnt know anything about what goes on between you two.

This Blog is for all the people who believe in love.