Tell Mama I’ll be home Late…

25 years baby love, I’ve been walking this earth screaming and kicking my way around for 25 years, We had breakfast this morning across from us was a couple who were probably married for a couple of years, The man never looked at his wife he sat diagonal in his chair and never said anything to her, she sat looking at everything with eyes that looked like they cry every night every now and again she said something to him and he looked at her, nodded and then continued looking into oblivion. Then there was another couple young and obviously in some sort of love, they were babbling to each other in French I was so annoyed and irritated at the fact that I couldn’t understand what they were saying that I was tempted to get up and tell them how rude it was to speak a foreign language in public.

Thats when I realized I haven’t changed that much, Sometimes people change and the world stays the same, sometimes the world changes and people stay the same and thats why it all seems a mess we never seem to sync the whole thing together. This Weekend I turned 25 and it couldn’t have happened on a better day my birthday fell on a saturday so started celebrating on the friday and caught 25 at midnight, I’m gonna completely leave out the bit where I wake up at 4am in the morning throw up that fucking Mcdonald’s I knew I didn’t want but ate anyway. I had an amazing birthday I wore a tiara made from crystals and spent half a day at the Spa.
Night of my birthday I emptied my purse and re organized it, threw away old receipts and broken eyeliners, known as the life of the party yet last night and the pass few weeks when someone says Club or Party I pretend not to feel well, when I do go out by 2am i wanna be in bed, did some shopping on Oxford Circus and I didn’t buy anything black or grey, The Change had already begun.

Gossip doesn’t seem to interest me half enough unless I can get the person on my show and interview them about it, Im looking for that big “Turn Over” bitches unless you can get me a copy of that tape, or this pictures or the accused will agree to an interview on my show I’m not interested in that shit, Im running outta time I gotta make an impact on this earth and I need to do that in this life time, sitting around talking shit with people aint gonna cut it for me, anymore.

I know I’m rambling on, but I hope you can pick a few lessons out of what I’m saying, Don’t ever apologize for the choices you make, Everyone is allowed to make mistakes and the younger you are the more mistakes you can make, as we get older it is our right as growing adults to leave more and more of it behind. By now I would have written a long list of new years resolutions that even I know would be impossible to attain, I didn’t write one this year and I got more done by accident than I could imagine, my new rule never make a to do list that’s more than a week! It’s easier to live today than it is to live tomorrow, tomorrow isn’t here yet.

If you had a life changing experience or something you wanna tell me thats inspiring go ahead an email me “Lolshow1@yahoo.com, and remember I want your comments and recommendations on my dam show!!!

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

The Game of Cheating, and how to Win!!

Cheating can be such a painful thing if you aren’t the one who’s cheating, I have regretted every single time a relationship ends and I never cheated I wanna do it over and CHEAT!!
Every Man cheats on his woman, and it’s a scientific fact that EVERY JAMAICAN MAN cheats on his girl, unless he’s Gay then he has no girl therefore he wouldn’t cheat on her, In a discussion I was participating in at the Hairdresser the other day we all agreed that a woman who was cheating on her lover every now an again maybe once a year, found that her relationship was easier to handle, I know for a fact that if you have a boyfriend and there’s another guy whispering sweet somethings in your ear it can be quite fulfilling in areas where your relationship falls short.

Whats the point of all this, where am I going with this blog? I’m trying to say if you cheated on your boyfriend there’s absolutely no reason why you need to tell him and absolutely no reason why you need to feel guilty about it and if you find yourself starting to feel guilty, sit down take a minute and remember every single time you’ve been a good girl and tried to be a wonderful girlfriend with your ex’s or with any of the past men in your life, do you remember what happened next? Exactly! Don’t let it eat you up It’s a different world today than it was years ago allow me to demonstrate:

A Couple years ago men used to leave us at home while they went out to work, now they ask for an independent woman up front and they leave us at home pregnant and never come back, the result is we are raising tomorrow’s men as single angry women. Do I sound Bitter? Good I am.

An article came out in last weeks “Sunday Times” a UK paper my boyfriend feels obligated to read every Sunday about Polygamous Couples being on an all time high. They are regular every day couples who have put the definition “Open relationship” into a whole new meaning. Regular couples are having affairs with the approval of their partners, Husband and Wife having dinner while the husband’s girlfriend is telling them both about her day at work, the wife won’t be at dinner tomorrow because she’s having dinner at her boyfriend’s house.
It’s a new playing field its a new world, before Men could have as many women as they want, there was nothing we could do about but whine to each other about how slutty the other girl looked.

I am encouraging all women, if you have the urge to cheat do it, worried about getting caught? “Say it wasn’t you unless he has you on tape, the guy you had the affair with you’ve never met him before, he’s a crazy psycho who’s been calling your phone and not saying anything for the past 3 weeks, say you’re scared and start crying. Problem fucking solved why should you give a fuck that his heart is breaking, how many times have you had your heart-broken? get over it big guy another one bites the dust. If that still makes you feel guilty think of the hearts he’s broken on the way to yours, Cheating is a dam competition it just so happens that Men beat us to it every single time, don’t worry about it.

So if you’re wondering if you should tell him that you cheated, here’s my advise don’t fucking tell him he’s probably cheating on you as you read this blog.

xoxox Lauren O Lauren

PS to all my Jamaican readers remember my show is on every Tuesday at 9pm on flow TV Channel 100.

The Lauren O Lauren show (Nov 29th, Premier part 2)

Sorry about the quality guys, I will have to work on it for future had to shrink it to get it up inn Youtube, took me all day.

The Lauren O Lauren show (Nov 29, Premier show Prt1)

The quality may be a little bad I had to shrink it a lot o get it on youtube. Thanks everyone.

My Way at last, From Kingston to Buckingham Palace.

……. Hello everyone first let me start by saying my show Premiered last night after what seemed to be a tumble in the woods, it was an adventure. I still remember the 1st time I decided to do this show, I had big stars in my eyes thinking yeah I know all the right people to get this shit off the ground and I’m sure they’ll help me that was my first life lesson. I had a friend who was a director and I initially wanted him to help me with the project I’ve never produced anything before and he’s been in the business for a very long time, I called him and we arranged to meet on the day of the meeting I get to the location we agreed to meet at and he wasn’t there I called him and I swear to you this man said to me “Ummmm you were serious? I thought you were joking” Then after he realized I was heart-broken he said something like we can arrange to meet later because he was kind of busy at the moment, this was probably two years ago. That experience taught me that just because you know the right people and you’re friends with them on Facebook or even have them on your Blackberry messenger doesn’t means that you can ping them or poke them and they’ll come running.

When I shot the pilot episode in May of this year I can’t tell you how many things went wrong, finding the right editor and the right groove for my show had me like Goldie Locks tasting porridges but instead of 1,2,3 I went 1 through to 60 to find the perfect porridge.

Even before we premiered it I wanted to scrap episode 1 completely because I didn’t like it and there were too many mistakes in it, but I had to be realistic and I couldn’t waste content or money being as this project was majority being funded from my pocket, I weighed the pros and cons and I decided to go with it. I loved the support I was getting from the twitter family, and even the people who saw the flaws and pointed them out I love that, because I dont always see them all so getting that live feed back from people while the show was happening was really good, I literally had my notebook out taking notes, I wasn’t watching the show primarily because I have a rule about watching myself on tv and because I’m out of the country.

A lot of things are wrong but a lot of things are right, what’s important is that we find our own right and what makes us happy at the end of it all.

The Lauren O Lauren show airs Tuesdays at 9pm, with a repeat on Thursdays at 11pm and Saturdays at 9:30pm on Flow TV, Channel 100.

xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren, don’t let anyone fool you, you are the creator, leader and ruler of your destiny.

Worn leather and Cobbled streets and Fringe purses everywhere Day 7

Hello Everyone, or should I say oh fuck it who cares how I start a blog these days, I am on the 7th day of my Vacation in London and let me say this it’s a breath of fresh air from The busy streets of New York and the naked sidewalks in Miami, its everything I expected and I love it here, give and take a few things I could live without but everywhere is like that. I have switch The Jersey Shore for The Only way is Essex and now kiss everyone on both cheeks instead of one.

The brits are a little bit different from the rest of the world which you would have gathered, in Jamaica I’m used to getting ready at 11 and being at the club by midnight and if it’s a good night stay there for three hours then go home, boy was I up for a culture shock when I found myself dressed up and trying to keep my balance on the Cobbled streets of London amongst all the other girls who seem to be doing it with ease, one wrong step and I swear I would break both legs, but these girls where doing it with very little effort. We were at the PUB by 7, then moved to three more bars before we had Dinner at the nice bar called Giraffe that had absolutely nothing to do with the animal, I learnt the hard way that English people had a high tolerance for alcohol and they can drink for days without loosing their balance, meanwhile English girls get ridiculously drunk almost to the point of passing out, I’ve done a few parties and I’ve never seen people get as drunk as I see them get here in London.

But besides the drinking I have met a group of people who are very comfortable with their culture and their flaws, people say the Brits act like they’re better than everyone else but it’s not true, they just have no problem being British, I suppose I wouldn’t have a problem either if I was from a rich 1st world country but that’s besides the point.

As it relates to trends, they definitely get them here first, Fashion is louder here than I’ve seen it in New York, everybody dresses up regardless of how cold it is, it never deters them from wearing star patterned stockings, worn leather bags, or my new favorite the Fringe purse, I love the fashion I can find on the streets of London, however shopping here has a set back they pay more for clothes by default because their currency is stronger.

Even though My favorite flat-iron blew up two days ago, I’m still loving it here, I can’t wait for my next big vacation I think I wanna try Africa, speaking of Africans, I’ve seen more Africans, Russians, Chinese and Indians in the UK than I’ve seen actual English people, yea a bit weird.

Remember people, love, explore and Grow the world is not a flat surface but a bouncing happy ball.

xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren

PS maybe I’ll come back with a fake English Accent, hahahahahahhahaqhahahahaha

I’ll Never Regret a Broken < 3Heart

Oh my God! All my readers and twitter followers are like “Lauren you’ve gotten so soft, we don’t even recognize you”

I wanted to do this blog for all of you ladies out there, who are broken and really hurting, and just in that phase where you HATE men, I know I’ve been there and I’m not far from there I know and if this relationship I’m in doesn’t work out I’m just gonna go Rambo on Nigga’s and just walk around with an AK47 and be popping caps in everybody with a Dick.

I don’t regret anything, if I could live my life over I would do it all the same way even with the knowledge I have now because the person I am now has so much character and strength that I don’t wanna risk loosing those qualities to save a few broken hearts and a few tears.
My last relationship ended really badly, I was really vocal about it I still am, I’m not advising anybody to take the root that I took, I wish sometimes that I didn’t flip or lose my temper that way, but the good thing is I give all my boyfriend’s an alias’ and except for the guy I’m with now I keep them out of the public light and for the most part nobody knows who they are, I try not to date famous people for that specific reason, If you’re gonna be all up in my business it’s because I told you so not because it’s out there for you to see.

My last break up was really hard on me emotionally and physically it was the firs relationship to effect my body and my mind and it wasn’t because I loved him more than the rest, it was out of Ego and pride I just honestly couldn’t believe that it was happening to me again, i was disappointed by the last person I expected it from and that was what destroyed me, not the MAN himself, but the fucking situation repeating itself. Because Trust me when you meet somebody else you are going to wonder what the hell where you doing with that person in the 1st place, I loved every minute with my Ex, Loved it would do it over a million times even the crying in my room parts, the drinking till I’m unconscious bits, all he bull shit, but I love every second with my boyfriend now and I cannot see my life without him in it and I know every relationship prepared me for this moment, I wanna get married and have kids with him, I could see him being a great father to my daughters, he has no kids I have none so it’ll be the both of ours first and we’ll share those moments together even if our daughters grow up one day to be stripper bitches with bum ass boyfriends.

So don’t think I’ve gotten soft ladies, I’m just going through another phase in my life, I find myself reacting to situations differently, My 25th birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and right now I’m like a powerful camera just putting myself in focus, I’ll give you an example.
When my ex and I broke up and months passed and I would wonder to myself why hasn’t he tried to contact me, or even apologize, he really hurt me you would think he would man up and say “Yo I’m sorry, I know i really hurt you” and when I did hear from him he sent me a message over two months ago and I say his name on my phone and i wasn’t even interested to read it, i read it a week after I got it and when i read it I was just like, I wish this dumb motherfucker didn’t even contact me, I wish he had just let me be and I just kept it moving, he didn’t even deserve a response from me cause he was just and still is a stupid motherfucker with no back bone and If i saw him tomorrow it hit me that I wouldn’t even remember what he looks like.

So ladies that’s my story I hope you can piece it together and make sense of it and hope I inspired you, don’t worry about the Loves you’ll lose, think about the love you haven’t found yet that is willing to return love to you.

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

PS I’m on Tumblr again, I will be posting Picture and fun Videos so log on!!!

http://thelolshow.tumblr.com/

My Style Revolution, “A Peaceful protest please”

Good Tidings I bring in the form of print, pattern, lavish fabrics and extravagant cuts. I’m giving my style a shot of syrup and making it a bit sweeter for the christmas season and my ever-growing great mood!

I have slowly been transforming my closet and my style as well as my 25th birthday is coming up so I do think it’s time for a small change. I recently purchased a sequined blazer, more floral shorts and tribal print pants embellished with feathers, oh how I love them I just bought them this weekend. I thought I’d share with you the direction my closet is going, I’m moving from erotic porn star to cute and pink with a splash of animation. I’m going to use some pictures to show you pieces I’m crushing on and why.

Mickey Mouse isn’t my favorite cartoon character but he is a character that I certainly do adore and he happens to be big this season in the area of fashion, and I love the very out of the way shock of wearing cartoon characters on your legs, certainly a must for the christmas season.

Sequins and Rhinestones everywhere, is a Got To Have, make sure you invest in a piece that is covered in them, that will make you look completely dressed up even if you aren’t wearing any make up and your weave is tangling. I’m such a sucker for sequins and I never used to like them, I was just having this conversation this past weakened how horrible we thought they were but this is a piece that will be around for a while and if it goes away will certainly come back.

Tribal print and out of the box pieces that you think you may never wear but suddenly you find somewhere you can wear it too. I urge you to invest in loud pieces that have nothing to do with you, something that is so not you, that when you wear it your friends don’t recognize you.

Loose dresses that look innocent and sweet and gives the impression that your a nice decent girl who no one would suspect is a freak underneath it all, (Insert Grin here) I love my tight little numbers but lately I’ve been feeling very responsible, and it’s a good look every now and again ladies.

Don’t forget the Professional inside of you, even if you don’t have a day job I have been having a dirty little love affair with blazers and I think apart from the everyday black and white you need an odd out of the box color in your closet just something to ignite the fire within you or at least get the haters staring. I own seven (7) blazers at the moment and I intend to own at least 3 more before the end of the year, I’ve been feeling very Blazer like hahahah. The loose shirts are nice for days out.

On top of all that I’m obsessed with Hello Kitty and glitter a bit immature but I have always been the ultimate girly girl, my boyfriend says i’m a child but confesses I’m his little princess, lol.

I hope you guys enjoyed this post and go ahead and comment and share some style revolutions of your own I LOVE LOOKING INTO OTHER PEOPLE’S CLOSET, feel like I get to know you a little bit more.

Hugs and Kisses and zebra Print dreams when you sleep,

Lauren o Lauren.

Waiting to Exhale…………… Breath.

Hello everyone, How are we today, As I sit here burning my incense stick and drinking my sugarless green tea, all is one with the world my breast are even starting to look bigger than they’ve ever looked before and yes before the day ends I will loose my temper and go off at several people, but at this very moment I am quite content.

Whenever I meet people who admit to reading my blog, I’m always so humbled and sort of Honored because it isn’t a specific person who reads my blog it’s all kinds of people. So let me take this moment to say How Much I appreciate you for taking time out of your day to read my inner most thoughts, that even I admit aren’t always sensible or right. Thank you.

I want to talk about this current moment in my life, When I was younger even though the typical things young girls usually want in men never seemed to appeal to me, I did make some mistakes and looking back I think it had a lot to do with my self esteem. I would date guys who I thought were very good looking but just assholes all around and I would put up with them because I thought I was lucky to be with them and not vice versa, because I didn’t think that I had much to offer or that I was very pretty or whatever it was men looked for in women and then I started to date really older men not just because they were loaded but because I was a young girl and to them I was amazing.
I have suffered from Serious heart break, depression, and just being very paranoid about my friends and the people around me but as you get older as i’m getting right now a lot of things change your priorities change my priorities have changed. The things that I used to find fun just don’t do it for me anymore, I felt like for so many years I was holding my breath and now I have exhaled I can be myself, not like I’m one to be anybody else but you know.

When I look for a man now his face is the last thing I look at, I wanna know:

“Do you owe anybody any money”?
“Do you have any kids, baby mothers’?
“Does your best friend live in your house”?

You know shit like that, that could one day turn into deal breakers. I went to an event this past weekend with my boyfriend and he introduced me to his friends and co workers as “My girlfriend” nobody has ever done that to me before, Yeah I’ve been XYZ’s woman, or that guy’s girl but never been “My girlfriend”.
We went house hunting together, before that I’ve never even considered moving in with a guy, a guy has never asked me before and I’ve never even thought of it I love my own space.
You must be wondering where I’m going with all of this, I’m just trying to say don’t be afraid to get older, to get wiser, don’t be afraid to make change, don’t be afraid to loose something it might be in your best interest to loose it all sometimes.
Life is like having dinner, and God is your waiter, you start with the appetizer, then he clears the table completely and you think you’ve lost it all but he’s just getting ready to serve the main course.

………… Wait to exhale.

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren, I’m sharing a song I’ve been listening to all weekend, love it.

The Number 3 and my Dreams, who can explain what this means.

A Lot of times things in my life seem to go up in the air and ever so often I find my lazy self at a cross roads and there’s some decision it seems I have to make. Last night I had the most peculiar dream, and I use the word peculiar because I like how it sounds and it happens to fit quite nicely where I used it.

In my dream there were three girls, myself, a girl who drove and another girl, but for some strange reason all three girls turned out to be me. It started out with us being at some place where we were terrified of some one and we were selling something, some sort of ornaments in a white box at $300 each (the number 3 is entered for the 1st time). Then myself and the girl that drives escapes and is driving up some hill but we find ourselves going around in circles instead, a big continuous circle, then suddenly I find myself as the girl that got left behind she had three boxes left that she was trying to sell, she/I was going around in circles, just walking around the front of this property that had us as prisoners, we sold one of the three boxes then I found myself in another scene.

This scene was just me I had received a purple purse and when I opened it there were three rings inside, one was plain silver, another had a very thin band with a purple gem and the third one which was the prettiest of them all had a lot of purple gems on it, big gems, but it didn’t fit my finger, it was too big. In the dream I was telling a friend how my boyfriend surprised me with three promise rings, but one was too big and I couldn’t understand why he would buy two that fit, and one that was obviously too big?

That was my dream last night, I know I have some very wise people reading my blogs so Im waiting on one of you to interpret this dream.

As for the rest of you ,Listen Go watch the Interview I did with Blu Grass in The Sky, it’s a very laid back interview that was apart of my test shoot.

It was a light fun interview that was totally unscripted and one of the few interviews of this kind I’ll be doing on my show, all the others will be pretty rowdy!!! hahahahaha

xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren, I’m on that search for inner peace and Financial Gain!!!!!