My life as an Alien

Lauen's Mind

alien-1Ok so I was watching this video today from one of my favorite #youtubbers lol and she was talking about being the ugly friend most of her life and how she kind of grew into her own and got over her insecurities and stuff like that. It inspired me to write about my own, I guess awkward experience also. lol

When I was growing up and don’t take this the wrong way, but no one told me I was pretty, they would always tell my sisters but no one told me. I knew I didn’t fit the Jamaican definition of pretty, I had dark skin and I didn’t have what they call “pretty hair” lol. Even in prep school I was always different from everyone else my parents didn’t own businesses and they weren’t married like everyone else’s, and as for parents I only had one.  I never quite fit in anywhere for as long as I can remember, I was different from my sisters and I was different from my friends. But unlike a lot of people who are different, I never thought there was something wrong with me, I never tried to fit in. I always felt that I was going to eventually find that place where I “Belonged”, I feel like I’ve been on a mystical quest searching for the Land of Lauren.

No one could make me feel unsure of myself, I was loud and in total control of myself, I was always an influencer and I never allowed anyone to influence me. So back when I started parting when all the people I hung out with took a cigarette to try it and got addicted, I to this day still have never tried weed, cigarettes or any other kind of social drugs.

I don’t know how many of you watched a video I did about the television industry on my YouTube channel, where I spoke about even though I’ve worked in media for over ten years, I was never considered media. I didn’t mind because I had my own way of doing things, while they followed  treatment & protocol I always freestyled lol.  I could go on and on, but the simple way to put it is that I am an alien.

There are people who feel uncomfortable in their bodies, like they want to be someone else, some people are unsure of who they are. I have always known who I was, I felt uncomfortable being a part of society hahahahah, I knew that society had different ideas of who I should be and quite honestly I’m not interested in that. I relished in being different, I liked it I have never felt lonely or bored I can’t say I know what those two emotions feel like. Yes I have been alone but I like being alone, as a matter of fact I prefer being alone, as for being bored *laughs* I always have so many things that I need to be doing even when I was a child. I was always organizing some event, a community club etc I was always planning. I was always locked away in my room literally scheming. When I was a toddler I was always wondering out the house, thank God I grew up in a nice crime free neighborhood where everyone knew my mother and I was always safely returned. I don’t know where I’m going with this blog but really just felt like I wanted to share that with you guys.

Not fitting in and being like everyone else or being “Liked” by everyone, is not a bad thing as long as you know who are you. You don’t need people or their opinions to define you, I learnt that at a very early age.

Have a great week everyone, and for those of you who are following my Change your life series on YouTube, Part 2 will be up this Wednesday.

xoxo Lauren

We don’t know how to be happy for others.

Happiness & You, Positive Living

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What’s wrong with us?  What’s wrong with people?  Why can’t we just see other people doing well and be happy for them.  Why does it have to be a trade off of negativity.  An old friend got married and started her own business and her old friends said, “she got some idiot to marry her and is using his money to start a business.”  The bitterness makes me cringe, do you know there are people I don’t talk to anymore that have slaughtered my name like a butcher in a meat shop and I am nothing but happy for them when I see them living their best life.

The word WHORE in 2015

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Ok Been thinking about writing this blog for some time now, but then when I started typing I changed my mind. Then this week Amber Rose and Khloe Kardashian had a very public Twitter argument that you can google and find somewhere. Personally I don’t care about Amber or Khloe they both have more money than me, they are OK honey, however the one thing I noticed in the argument was the word “whore”.

Remember when a whore was a gross looking woman who stood on corners in run down neighborhoods selling their bodies for money, while running from the cops? That was a long time ago and while you have many different legitimate type of “Whores”. I feel like women just love calling other women whores, it’s a word they just throw out there.  But I have also noticed that “whore” in 2015 has a few specific characteristics.

Whore Characteristics in 2015:

1 – She must be attractive, sometimes extremely attractive.

2 – She must be able to go from one relationship to another relationship seamlessly. Her “Move On” Game is as the young ones would say on”Fleek” Lol I hate that word tho.

3 – She must be a girl who any man, and every man would want to date.

4 – She gets what she wants from every man and every situation.

Since when does that make a woman a whore? It’s not any girls fault that she is attractive and most men want her. Women need to stop setting themselves up and setting our gender up for discrimination, Women spend so much time labeling each other its hard for men to respect us. You might think oh, it has nothing to do with how we treat each other, but think about it when Men talk about other men do they ever sound as bitter as we do towards each other? Do men call other men woman beaters, or players, or worthless baby daddies, no they don’t. It seems like for the most part men are just living and enjoying life as it relates to relationships and don’t have e to deal with slander from their fellow male counterparts. I don’t see men commenting under other dudes pictures on Instagram saying shit like, “You’re an asshole you left your pregnant baby mother at 3 months” or you Know you’re sleeping with three different woman & letting them all think they’re the only one” Guys don’t do that, its like they have a legit guy code.

Why do we have to be the weaker sex, I mean seriously we have advanced so much as women, we do so much for humanity and life in general, yet we can’t get over our bitterness for other women?? We have to stop and we have to start with the word whore, we have to cease and desist use of that word. Because us using it gives guys a reason to use it and they should never have any reason to disrespect us. It’s just not nice either, let go of that negativity and the hatred.

Anyways my lovelies, have a great weekend.

xoxo LaurenOLauren

What is Man?

Positive Living

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Yes I just asked what is Man, I know it seems weird but its an honest question. Last week we got some bad news a friend of ours had gotten cancer and before he was able to treat it he died. On Thanks Giving day this person had an unusual cough and when he went to the hospital they told him they saw a baseball size tumor in his chest. Within four weeks the tumor had doubled in size and by the next four weeks later he was dead, just like that gone never ever to return. What is man?

More now than ever I suppose it comes with maturity, age, and yes experience but now more than ever I try to focus on the things that really matter to me. I don’t allow myself to get distracted by silly things or silly situations because I understand that my time here is borrowed. I don’t have to wake up tomorrow, I don’t have to be here next month, in an instant my whole life can change for good because accidents happen.

Here is my advise to you no matter how old you are, no matter what phase of your life you are in, everyone has a time this is your time you are here now. Live your life and don’t allow petty things to distract you from it, don’t allow petty thing to realign your way of thinking, don’t allow situations to convince you that life isn’t worth living.  Because we have life it is worth living and a life worth living is worth living well, find a filter and filter out the negative.  I saw this Meme/Quote on Instagram I think I should share it: “Every morning, we get a chance to be different. A chance to change. A chance to be better. Your past is your past leave it there, get on with your future”.

We are constantly redesigning ourselves, recreating ourselves we see celebrities recreate themselves in front of our very eyes. They aren’t the only ones changing, we change too.  Before you allow something to upset you, ask yourself, What is man?

Have an amazing week, hope you guys enjoy Valentines Day it is a day of love not necessarily about having a “boo”, so enjoy it.

xoxox Lauren O Lauren

What happens to people who don’t feel ordinary?

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MTLkBeGTaHave you ever felt like you’re apart of something amazing? Like truly amazing like there are all these amazing things happening around the world and you are apart of it. Have you ever felt like you were about To do something great, you can’t sleep at night because you’re waiting for some mythical person to appear and tell you you’re mission. Ending his speech with, we’ve waited a hundred years for you, the world depends on you. Hahahahaha ok that’s a bit extra but you must know what I mean.
I get anxious sometimes, and then I look at other people who I suspect of being ordinary people, living ordinary lives and being totally ok with it, having super ordinary conversations with their friends, laughing ordinarily. I feel compassion for them, I feel so sad for them because they will never know what it’s like to feel that warmth inside of you, to feel like your insides are burning, like you’re whole body is on fire. Something amazing is happening like a secret club and you’re apart of it, apart of this amazing history and they’re just floating through the world doing as they’re told.
I feed on life and all it’s experiences, all the people that come and go with it, the scars that make me who I am.  I’m probably extremely ordinary, doing ordinary things. But I don’t  feel ordinary and I never felt like I fit in with “Normal”. What happens to people like me dying to make a contribution so big that it outlives us, do we ever get meet our mythical person who explains our mission, or do we just fizzle out and give up on our dreams because they seem too impossible, too big?
What happens to people who don’t feel ordinary?
I’ll tell you what happens to them, the difference between people who don’t feel ordinary and Ordinary people is ordinary people do what they are suppose to do no questions asked. They don’t let self doubt and personal demons stop them from getting up everyday and living their ordinary lives.
People who don’t feel ordinary are so caught in the feeling of not being ordinary, that all day long they swim around in their thoughts of uncertainty and sometimes never really achieve what they’re supposed.
The truth is we are our own worst enemies, no matter how many Instagram trolls we get daily.  People who don’t feel ordinary end up to be ordinary people if they don’t get over their fears of failing, simply put.
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren

It’s ok to be bored, its good for your mental health.

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What’s Bored? Whenever I hear people say “I’m bored” I always wonder how did that happen. It’s 2015 and the world of information and Technology just keeps growing, there is so much information and so much technology its a wonder we still get out of bed and go to work instead of our robot versions of ourselves right?

Remember when we used to go to the airport and wait two hours on our flight and sit in the waiting area in total silence, or buy a magazine to pass the time? Who remembers when reading a book meant carry the bulky thing around all the time and if you’re anything like me you still read traditional books.  Standing in the lines at the bank aren’t tedious anymore when you can check Instagram and tweet about the guy in-front of you talking too loudly on his phone. Yes more now than ever there are a million things to distract us and keep us occupied, but what are these distractions doing to us, how are they affecting our brains?

I might sound like I’m being dramatic or going on about nothing  but people need to be bored sometimes, the brain needs random pauses every now and again so that we can think. Think about new ideas, think about things we need to get done, think about things we are doing if we are constantly engaging our minds with petty distractions then there simply just isn’t enough time to think. Some people get extremely caught up in their internet lives and likewise some people get extremely caught up in other people’s Internet lives, checking constantly and comparing what that person said last week, to what they are saying this week. Marie Curie once said, “Be less Curious about people and more curious about ideas” and you can interpret that anyway you want to.

Im not saying we should  lock ourselves away in a  room and sit still with no distractions and Hum all day long, I’m saying we should do that sometimes.

Have a great week everyone, and remember it’s good to be bored sometimes. Also I know a lot of you here don’t know about my Fashion blog so check it out whenever you feel like here –  http://www.laurenolauren.com

xoxox Lauren O Lauren

11 Random Things I learned in 2014

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Hey everyone before January ends and we can no longer talk about 2014 as if it was just last week, I made this little list weeks ago and totally forgot to post it. Im waiting on my 15 minute face mask to dry so I figured what better time than now.

1 – You can not swear for people no matter how long you know them, people just aren’t who they  say they are.

2 – The People who you expect to stand by you are sometimes not the people who do.

3- I learned how to cook just about any and every dam meal in this life, Honey I was in the kitchen in 2014!!!!

4 – You can sign out from Twitter & all your social Media accounts and not even miss it.

5 – You have to know when to quit; as general as that sounds knowing your limit and knowing when to walk away is very, very important.

6 – A lot of people think that being blessed has a lot to do with owning a lot of stuff, shoes, cars, purses, nice cars. But blessings is peace of  mind and good people in your life, knowing you dont have to worry about the bills, or getting good grades or people disappointing you. Honey that’s a blessing

7 – People like seeing people fall from Grace. If someone looks too good to be true, people will dig up the bad no matter how long it takes them.

8 – Good friends are people you don’t have to talk to everyday.

9 – Sometimes its best to just listen to people and support them, people don’t always need your advise even when they ask for it.

10 – Time waits on no man, so if there is a anything you want to do in life, Do it make plans and go after it

11- You learn that you might not meet the man of your dreams, because finding the man of your dreams is like looking for a specific pair of jeans and not finding it. So you have to go to the thrift store find something close to it and make some changes, you know make it work.

Sometimes we find the perfect man and he turns out to be gay or bisexual or something.

When Is the right time to have Kids??

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Children what a super sensitive topic and there is no right or wrong answer, however based on what I have seen more than once I have an idea that could possibly work. First let me say this as a disclaimer relationships just end sometimes even after years of happiness and bliss people just seem to drift apart from each other for one reason or another.

I believe that the best time for you and your partner to consider having kids is after the honeymoon phase, I say honeymoon but there doesn’t have to be a wedding involved. Every relationship has what I like to call the honeymoon phase, some people say it’s the first year into the relationship but I think the honeymoon phase can last anywhere between the first year and the first 3 years of a relationship. I think people should be together alone for a couple of years before they decide to have a baby, I honestly feel like people should get to know the person they’re with, really get to know them.  You both should come to an understanding that this relationship is the possibly the last one, you don’t have to get married to each other but just make sure you don’t have one person thinking this is it and the other person thinking this is fun. Because miscommunication is a disease child!!!

I’m not saying people who get pregnant for someone they have known for less than a year, has more chances of being single or to become Co-Parents who get along, Im certainly not saying any of that. What I’m saying is children are a huge step, it’s also a magnificent responsibility why would you want to just jump into that without really accessing your partner and the situation itself?

You will know when the time is right for you, but just remember when you have kids the focus shifts from you and unto them, So have kids when you’re done seeing the world, done partying and you’re ready to just focus on raising the best little version of yourself and your partner, your baby of course!!!

See You guys next time stay positive and remember this is the year to EMBRACE!!!!

xoxox Lauren O Lauren

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Don’t be afraid to live above water & relish in your truth.

Happiness & You, Lauen's Mind

2b83560018740cfa3363dbe611ce581c First of all let me say this before I get into this, this blog is going to be all  over the place I have so many thoughts running in my head and they might not come out right.

Look at yourself in the mirror are you ok with the life you’re living? Are you doing anything that you should be ashamed of? If you are why are you doing it, why don’t you make a conscious effort to stop doing it?  If you’re ashamed of being left-handed, if I were you I would learn to write with my right hand or I would learn to accept the fact that I’m left-handed.  Many people get up everyday and live there authentic lives, being their own authentic selves doing what truly makes them happy. Do you think everybody is going to like them, not all of us can do what we want to do, so we live a pretend life doing pretend things to fit in with people who don’t like or don’t care about us anyway.

If you’re life offends the way someone else lives their life it may be because they are living a version of their life that they do not want to be living. There is too much discrimination in this world, too many focuses on the wrong things no matter what color you are, who you have sex with, what you do for a living, you deserve to live above water with the rest of the world.

Don’t ever apologize for who you are, always live your truth the funny thing about hate and discrimination is that it is always most times coming from people just like us. It’s hard to explain we always think it’s the outside world but really its our inner circle the people who should be fighting beside us. Think about it every famous betrayal succeeded because of someone from the inside.

You can’t be responsible for how someone interprets how you choose to live your life, you can only be responsible for yourself and you alone will be held accountable for your actions.

xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

2015 the year to Embrace it all and Grow

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Thats my new word and my plan of action for 2015 “Embrace” I want you to use it and truly understand what it means and make it apart of your life.

On New Years Eve I woke up early did Yoga (thats my new thing I wanna do Yoga atlas twice a week at home), wrote a list of 20 good things that happened this year and a list of 20 bad things that happened this year, I compared the lists and analyzed the outcomes as much as possible, I checked off anything bad that happened that was followed by a lesson that would improve my life.  I rearranged my bedroom furniture and opened my room up a bit more and created a lot of space, Im also working on minimizing my life by not doubling up on things I already have. So whatever I have that I have more than one of I’ve been stacking it up in boxes and sending them off to Good Will.  I used to be one of those persons who was obsessed with excess, I’m not like that anymore, I realized I had a lot of stuff, so many pairs of shoes that there were pairs Ive never worn before and didn’t remember owning.

What made 2014 good for me was that I embraced my situation and did what needed to be done to improve it.  A lot of us don’t embrace our realities and allow ourselves to be caught up in the commercial culture of what Social Media has become. We think to ourselves we’re only being sold things in tv commercials, billboards, or magazines but the reality is everyone is selling something to us.

People on Instagram are selling us their life and even big companies are catching onto the social media craze.  They know that giving their products to the right person will sell them more units than a super expensive commercial during prime time.  So its very important you embrace your life and all the “Possibilities” and not convince yourself that you need things that aren’t necessary to be happy.

Have a great year everyone, I have a feeling this year is going to be phenomenal for all of us who embrace it.

xoxox Lauren O Lauren